Okay, so we know we dropped the ball with our Game of Thrones recap from two weeks ago, but RPW was actually on vacation in Jamaica so we hope you can forgive us. Since we’re now all officially suffering from GOT withdrawal [since there was no new episode last week; I’m still bitter], I’ve decided to help combat our pain with a top 10 list. Here are our top 10 favorite moments from “Second Sons” featuring not one, but all four of the major houses.
10. Arya’s face when she realized she was going to her family
The last we saw Arya, she was captured by the Hound. We catch up with her again as the dynamic duo travel through Westeros. The Hound takes Arya to the Red Fork river which she mistakes for the Blackwater. The Hound shocks her when he finally tells her of his plan to return her to the Twins. “Why there?” she asks because she has no idea about the impending wedding between Edmure and Frey’s daughter. The Hound informs her of the news, and his plans to sell her back to Catelyn and King Robb. This is not what she was expecting and Arya’s face is priceless. She looks like a kid who was just told Santa is real.
9. Cersei threating to have Margaery killed
We saw Margaery initiate some soon-to-be sister action and Cersei was not having it. After a pathetic attempt by Margaery to get friendly with Cersei, Cersei scares the crap out of her by threatening to have her murdered in her sleep.
Cersei 1 Margaery 0
8. Stannis wishing death upon the Usurpers
After some sick experiment with Melisandre and Gendry (we’ll discuss further down the list), Stannis makes some big death requests from the Lord of Light. He asks for the LOL to kill the three usurpers to the Iron Throne – Robb Stark, Balon Greyjoy, and Joffrey Baratheon.
7. Sansa’s composed strength during her horrendous wedding
Poor Sansa suffered the wedding from hell. She was forced into marrying Tyrion, threatened to be raped by Joffrey, and something just felt wrong about Sansa’s family (or who is left of it) being completely absent from the ceremony. But through it all, Sansa showed amazing grace, composure ,and strength well beyond her years. As Tyrion Lannister once said, “Lady Stark, you may survive us yet.”
6. Olenna mocking her grandchildren for their twisted family tree
5. Tyrion telling Joffrey he can screw his wife with a wooden c*ck
Joffrey pushed Tyrion’s buttons quite a few times during the entire wedding ceremony. But nothing was worse than when Joffrey tried to force Tyrion and Sansa into performing a public bedding ceremony. Tyrion was quite drunk and not interested in publicly consummating the marriage. After Joffrey continued to endlessly push him, he stabbed the table with a knife and threatened the king with this line: “You’ll be f—ing your own bride with a wooden cock,” if the king continued.
4. Tyrion defying his father by refusing to sleep with Sansa
Tywin Lannister set up this wedding, so he was determined to make sure the marriage was consummated. He made a point to visit Tyrion at the wedding table and order Tyrion to impregnate his new bride with a Lannister child ASAP. Instead of heeding his father’s request, Tyrion got plastered during the wedding. After Tywin put the fire out on the whole Joffrey incident, Tyrion left the reception with his wife. They returned to their chambers where they discussed Sansa’s super young age, and Tywin’s orders. Sansa finally started drinking and undressing, accepting her fate and preparing to do the deed with Lord Tyrion. But, in a shock to everyone, Tyrion tells Sansa he won’t do it.
3. Gendry survives the Red Priestess
Melisandre used Gendry as a pawn in a disgusting experiment to prove to Ser Davos that the LOL was the real thing. She seduced Gendry and slept with him, then deceived him and literally used his blood (and leeches) so Stannis could offer symbolic sacrifices to the LOL in the form of the three usurpers to the throne. The big shock here is the Gendry actually survived the Red Priestess. After some convincing from the Onion Knight, Stannis must have demanded that his nephew be left alive. Thank you, Stannis. #TeamGendry
2. Daario bends the knee and swears fealty to the Dragon Queen
Let’s take a minute to appreciate the new man in Dany’s life, Daario Naharis. Those eyes! Those cheek bones! OMG! Okay, back to the list.
Daario Naharis (previously lieutenant in the Second Sons) fights for beauty above all. When Dany met with the captains and lieutenant of the Second Sons in an effort to buy their swords, he saw her beauty. His captains did not. When they ordered Daario to assassinate Dany, he refused and he killed both of them. He brought their heads to Dany after sneaking through her camp and holding Missandei hostage. But he quickly revealed himself, their heads, and his intentions. All we can say is, we want more where this came from.
1. Sam stabs the White Walker with a piece of dragon glass (and then leaves it behind like an idiot)
Our favorite moment of the last episode of GOT was also the last scene. Intentional? Probably. Regardless, here’s what happened.
Sam and Gilly are holed up in a cabin, trying to build a fire (again) and talking about baby names for Gilly’s son (it won’t be Russell). Sam notices a large gathering of crows outside their cabin and the crows are making a lot of noise. He decides to go out and investigate and orders Gilly to stay put. Sam goes outside, sword in hand, only to see his worst nightmare – a White Walker is approaching. The White quickly destroys Sam’s sword and makes a move for Gilly and the baby (who obviously came outside). So in a moment of panic, Sam reaches for the only weapon on him – the black dragon glass that he’s been carrying around. He stabs the White in the back and the creature explodes. The two run for their lives with a flock of crows chasing after them, but they left the glass, and their best chance of surviving, behind.