ROCK PAPER WATCH


3 Comments

Top 10 Moments from GOT 3×8 “Second Sons”

Okay, so we know we dropped the ball with our Game of Thrones recap from two weeks ago, but RPW was actually on vacation in Jamaica so we hope you can forgive us.  Since we’re now all officially suffering from GOT withdrawal [since there was no new episode last week;  I’m still bitter], I’ve decided to help combat our pain with a top 10 list.  Here are our top 10 favorite moments from “Second Sons” featuring not one, but all four of the major houses.

10. Arya’s face when she realized she was going to her family

The last we saw Arya, she was captured by the Hound. We catch up with her again as the dynamic duo travel through Westeros. The Hound takes Arya to the Red Fork river which she mistakes for the Blackwater.  The Hound shocks her when he finally tells her of his plan to return her to the Twins. “Why there?” she asks because she has no idea about the impending wedding between Edmure and Frey’s daughter.  The Hound informs her of the news, and his plans to sell her back to Catelyn and King Robb.  This is not what she was expecting and Arya’s face is priceless.  She looks like a kid who was just told Santa is real. 

HoundArya

9. Cersei threating to have Margaery killed 

We saw Margaery initiate some soon-to-be sister action and Cersei was not having it.  After a pathetic attempt by Margaery to get friendly with Cersei, Cersei scares the crap out of her by threatening to have her murdered in her sleep. 

cersei-margaery-strangle

Cersei 1 Margaery 0

8. Stannis wishing death upon the Usurpers

After some sick experiment with Melisandre and Gendry (we’ll discuss further down the list), Stannis makes some big death requests from the Lord of Light.  He asks for the LOL to kill the three usurpers to the Iron Throne – Robb Stark, Balon Greyjoy, and Joffrey Baratheon.  

Stannis_and_leeches

7. Sansa’s composed strength during her horrendous wedding

Poor Sansa suffered the wedding from hell.  She was forced into marrying Tyrion, threatened to be raped by Joffrey, and something just felt wrong about Sansa’s family (or who is left of it) being completely absent from the ceremony.  But through it all, Sansa showed amazing grace, composure ,and strength well beyond her years.  As Tyrion Lannister once said, “Lady Stark, you may survive us yet.”

SansaTyrion

6. Olenna mocking her grandchildren for their twisted family tree

olenna-grandchildren
Enough said; Olenna Out. 

5. Tyrion telling Joffrey he can screw his wife with a wooden c*ck

Joffrey pushed Tyrion’s buttons quite a few times during the entire wedding ceremony.  But nothing was worse than when Joffrey tried to force Tyrion and Sansa into performing a public bedding ceremony.  Tyrion was quite drunk and not interested in publicly consummating the marriage.  After Joffrey continued to endlessly push him, he stabbed the table with a knife and threatened the king with this line: “You’ll be f—ing your own bride with a wooden cock,” if the king continued.

tyrionjoffrey

4. Tyrion defying his father by refusing to sleep with Sansa

Tywin Lannister set up this wedding, so he was determined to make sure the marriage was consummated.  He made a point to visit Tyrion at the wedding table and order Tyrion to impregnate his new bride with a Lannister child ASAP.  Instead of heeding his father’s request,  Tyrion got plastered during the wedding.  After Tywin put the fire out on the whole Joffrey incident, Tyrion left the reception with his wife.  They returned to their chambers where they discussed Sansa’s super young age, and Tywin’s orders.  Sansa finally started drinking and undressing, accepting her fate and preparing to do the deed with Lord Tyrion.  But, in a shock to everyone, Tyrion tells Sansa he won’t do it.

 

3. Gendry survives the Red Priestess

Gendry

Melisandre used Gendry as a pawn in a disgusting experiment to prove to Ser Davos that the LOL was the real thing.  She seduced Gendry and slept with him, then deceived him and literally used his blood (and leeches) so Stannis could offer symbolic sacrifices to the LOL in the form of  the three usurpers to the throne.  The big shock here is the Gendry actually survived the Red Priestess.  After some convincing from the Onion Knight, Stannis must have demanded that his nephew be left alive.  Thank you, Stannis. #TeamGendry

gendrymoving

2. Daario bends the knee and swears fealty to the Dragon Queen

daario

Let’s take a minute to appreciate the new man in Dany’s life, Daario Naharis. Those eyes! Those cheek bones! OMG! Okay, back to the list.

Daario Naharis (previously lieutenant in the Second Sons) fights for beauty above all.  When Dany met with the captains and lieutenant of the Second Sons in an effort to buy their swords, he saw her beauty.  His captains did not.  When they ordered Daario to assassinate Dany, he refused and he killed both of them.  He brought their heads to Dany after sneaking through her camp and holding Missandei hostage.  But he quickly revealed himself, their heads, and his intentions.  All we can say is, we want more where this came from.

DaarioIsYoursgif

1. Sam stabs the White Walker with a piece of dragon glass (and then leaves it behind like an idiot)

Our favorite moment of the last episode of GOT was also the last scene. Intentional? Probably. Regardless, here’s what happened.

Sam and Gilly are holed up in a cabin, trying to build a fire (again) and talking about baby names for Gilly’s son (it won’t be Russell).  Sam notices a large gathering of crows outside their cabin and the crows are making a lot of noise.  He decides to go out and investigate and orders Gilly to stay put.  Sam goes outside, sword in hand, only to see his worst nightmare – a White Walker is approaching.  The White quickly destroys Sam’s sword and makes a move for Gilly and the baby (who obviously came outside).  So in a moment of panic, Sam reaches for the only weapon on him – the black dragon glass that he’s been carrying around.  He stabs the White in the back and the creature explodes.  The two run for their lives with a flock of crows chasing after them, but they left the glass, and their best chance of surviving, behind.

WhiteWalker

Advertisements


1 Comment

Top 10 Moments from Game of Thrones 3×7 “The Bear and the Maiden Fair”

In Game of Thrones episode 3×7 ‘The Bear and the Maiden Fair’ we actually got a bear, and a (sort of) maiden fair.  Oh, and everyone is in love.  Instead of a recap this week, we are counting down our favorite moments of the episode.

#10 Love vs. Loyalty

It seems that everyone is struggling between love and loyalty.  Jon Snow is falling in love with Ygritte, but wanting to remain loyal to the Night’s Watch.  Ygritte is realizing that eventually she’s going to have to choose between Jon Snow and the Wildlings (I think she’ll choose Snow, once she realizes the Wildlings don’t really stand a chance).  Robb has abandoned his loyalty to Frey for his love for Talisa.  Tyrion is struggling between his love for Shae and his loyalty to his family.

gendry

#9 Gendry finds out he’s royalty

Melisandre:  Your blood is noble.
Gendry:  Are you saying my father, he was some lord or…
Melisandre:  There. Your father’s house. (pointing to the Red Keep)
Gendry:  I’m just a bastard.
Melisandre:  The bastard of Robert of the House Baratheon, first of his name, King of Andals and the First Men.  Haven’t you ever wondered where your strength comes from?  Your talent for fighting?

best--game-of-throne

#8 Girl talk with Margaery and Sansa

Margaery helps Sansa understand a little bit about the birds and the bees as they discuss her upcoming nuptials to Tyrion.

“Some women like tall men. Some like short men. Some like hairy men, some like bald men. Gentle men, rough men, ugly men, pretty men. Pretty girls. Most women don’t know what they like until they’ve tried it. And sadly so many of us get to try so little before we’re old and gray.”

The best part was when Sansa asked Margaery how she knew all this?  “Yes, sweet girl, my mother taught me.”  Sweet girl aka dumb girl.

Game-of-Thrones-Season-3-Joffrey-and-Tywin

#7 Joffrey is actually right

Joffrey and Tywin have a bit of a showdown, each assert their dominance.  Tywin wins of course, but Joffrey is right when you think about it.  He should be briefed on the small council.  And, he’s the only one showing any concern about the impending threat of Dany and her dragons.

best--game-of-throne (1)

#6 Ygritte sees a castle (or a windmill, same difference)

Now on the other side of the wall, it’s Jon’s turn to educate Ygritte about the ways of the land.  After mistaking a windmill for a castle, he know he’s got a long road in front of him.  He tells her about Westeros girls, how they swoon and wear silk dresses.  And of course, how he wants to see her in a pretty silk dress (so he can rip it off).  Ygritte replies, “You rip my pretty silk dress, I’ll blacken your eye.”

487481_200669776747198_291059471_n

#5 Dany’s Throne

Could it be anymore perfect?

#4 Girl Power

Dany proves that she’s a force to be reckoned with.  To expand her title as “The Breaker of Chains,” she has set her eyes on Yunkai, the home of 200,000 slaves.  Yunkai offers her a chest full of gold and a fleet of ships to leave their city alone.  Dany counters that she will spare his life if his city releases every single slave.  “Reject this gift and I shall show you no mercy,” she says cooly.  Then she keeps the gold as the dragons force him to leave.

game-of-thrones-3.07-the-bear-and-the-maiden-fair-brienne-bear

#3 Jaime saves Brienne

Revealing our title “The Bear and the Maiden Fair,” Brienne is thrown into a pit with a bear and a wooden sword to protect herself.  Jaime returns from his release to save her.  He jumps into the pit completely unarmed in order to force Bolton’s men into helping.  He refuses to come out until Brienne is pulled up safely.  Then he scrambles up with the help of Brienne.  It was very heroic.

490055-001

#2 The Bear

maxresdefault

#1 Robb’s Bum

I would post a picture, but this is a family friendly blog. 😉


Leave a comment

Game of Thrones 3×6 Recap

The Climb

“Chaos isn’t a pit. Chaos is a ladder. Many who try to climb it fail and never get to try again. The fall breaks them. And some are given a chance to climb, they cling to the realm or the gods or love. Only the ladder is real. The climb is all there is.”

Chaos.  In Game of Thrones episode 3×6 ‘The Climb’ we got the calm before the storm.  Several storylines begin to surface and it looks like it’s all-downhill from here for Season 3.

House Stark

Sam – Sam and Gilly are trying to get warm, but Sam kind of sucks at building a fire.  When that fails to impress, he shows her his dragonglass.  Remember those dagger-like things that he and a few other Watchmen found?  Yea, judging by the close-up we got, it’s going to be important so pay attention.  She’s not really impressed.  But she is impressed that Sam is high-born and now that he’s got her attention, he tells her about Castle Black and The Wall.  In case we needed a reminder (since Jon Snow is about the climb it), Sam reminds us about the size of The Wall:

Gilly:  Is The Wall as big as they say?
Sam:  Bigger… So big you can’t even see the top sometimes. It’s hidden in clouds!
Gilly:  You’re playing with me…?
Sam:  Am not.  It’s 700 feet high; all made of ice, on a warm day you can see it weeping.

Such a poet, that Sam.

Bran – Mean Girls, GOT Edition.  Osha is writing in her burn book about how she can skin a rabbit better than Meera.  No offense Meera, but Osha’s skinning seemed a lot more efficient, you might want to take notes.  Bran is trying to referee this argument when Jojen has a seizure.  Meera rushes to his aid as Bran and Rickon panic.  I always forget that Rickon exists until I see him again.  Meera explains that the visions come with a price.  Jojen wakes and explains that he dreamed of Jon Snow at The Wall.  Bran is all like “whaaaa?”

Jon Snow – Jon Snow and Ygritte prepare for their climb.  Jon is scared (perfectly reasonable); Ygritte is excited.  This is something she’s been wanting;  “I’ve waited my whole life to see the world from up there.”

Ygritte then teases him a bit about their sexual escapades; I bet he’d blush if he wasn’t so cold.  Now that Jon Snow has proven himself to Ygritte, he doesn’t tolerate her teasing too much.  He knows where he stands.

Ygritte has figured him out, “you’re loyal, and you’re brave.”  She knows that Snow is still loyal to the Night’s Watch and she intends to keep his secret.  In exchange, she only asks for his loyalty. “You’re going to be loyal to your woman,” she tells him that they are just soldiers in an army, no one cares if they live or die.  They have to depend on one another to survive, “it’s you and me that matter to me and you.”  They’re the Bonnie and Clyde of Westeros.

With that, they begin their climb.  They’re trekking along when Ygritte notices a crack spreading along The Wall, large chunks begin to fall taking climbers with them.  Jon and Ygritte lose their footing and are DANGLING off.  She begins to swing him so he can grab hold of The Wall.  Orell tries to cut them loose, but Snow connects with The Wall just in time.  Ygritte had a point, I guess.

The episode ends with Jon Snow and Ygritte reaching the top of The Wall; they made it.  Together, they take in the view and make out a little bit and can you blame them?  Overall this was a sweet scene, the calm before the chaos for sure.

Arya – Arya is having an archery lesson with the Brotherhood Without Banners, when someone stops by for a visit.  Melisandre, Stannis’ favorite lady in red is here to pick up something (or someone).

First, she chats with Beric and Thoros about the Lord of Light.  She’s quite impressed (and maybe a little jealous) that Beric has been brought back from the dead six times.  The contrast here is so interesting to me, Beric’s Lord of Light seems forgiving and hopeful.  When Melisandre talks about the Lord of Light, its scary and dark.

Melisandre bribes Beric so that she can take Gendry back to Dragonstone (told ya).  Keep in mind, Gendry is Robert Baratheon’s bastard and Melisandre needs Baratheon blood to make another demon baby, “The Lord of Light needs this boy.”  I don’t know about you guys, but I’m going to miss Gendry.  I loved the sweet moment that he shared with Arya last week.  I just wanted him to make it out of Westeros alive, like Hotpie. When Gendry protests, Melisandre tells him “You are more than they can ever be, they’re just foot soldiers in the Great War.  You will make kings rise and fall.”

Arya immediately hates Melisandre (rightfully so) and, in probably my favorite scene of the episode, isn’t afraid to let her know.  Arya grabs Melisandre and spins her around, Melisandre counters with a prophecy, “I see a darkness in you and in that darkness eyes staring back at me. Brown eyes. Blue eyes. Green eyes.  Eyes you’ll shut forever. We will meet again.”

Theon – Where in the Seven Kingdoms is Theon?!  We have our theory, what is yours?  Who is this person that is keeping him captive?  What does he want?  The Boy starts out by mocking poor Theon.  He wants to play a game.  The Boy chooses Theon’s little finger as the least important body part.  Now, Theon is allowed to guess where he is and who the boy is, until he’s begging for The Boy to cut off his finger.

“If you think this has a happy ending, you haven’t been paying attention,” The Boy says.  Oooooh.

Theon guesses The Boy is the son of Robb’s bannerman Karstark, you know, the guy Robb beheaded last week.  The Boy entertains this for a while, let’s Theon experience seem relief, then GOT YA!  Just kidding, that’s not who I am.  He then peels off the end of Theon’s finger until finally, Theon begs for him to cut it off.

Anyone else feeling sorry for Theon yet?

I am astounded by the actor playing The Boy (Spring Awakening alum, Iwan Rheon).  He is so good at playing crazy! Those eyes! That mocking tone in his voice!  Can someone look into this, is he actually crazy?!

Robb – You may remember last week when Robb decided to take Casterly Rock, but he needs the help of the Frey’s to do so.  After marrying Talisa, Robb lost his only bargaining chip.  He meets with two representatives from the Frey House to evaluate his options.  Frey has three conditions:  an apology (done), Harrenhal (okay), and Robb’s uncle Edmure must marry a Frey daughter.  Edmure objects (just as much as Robb did), wants to know if he can pick.  He argues, “No man can compel another man to marry.”  Um yes, they can.  Robb reminds him of his big mistake with The Mountain and wins via guilt-trip.  So it’s settled, Edmure will marry a Frey.  I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

Sansa – Sansa has a date with Loras.  God, could their conversations get anymore boring?  Could Loras be anymore gay?  That leads us to the Lannisters.

House Lannister 

We finally get some Lannister action when we open to a nice dinner scene with Jaime Lannister, Brienne of Tarth, and Lord Roose Bolton. Brienne is dressed in a new outfit – a pretty pink dress. (She looks more uncomfortable than Loras pretending to like women.) Jaime is struggling trying to learn how to adjust to life with one hand. Brienne eventually has enough and slams her fork into Jaime’s steak to assist him in cutting.

It seems his ego and attitude hasn’t quite adjusted, though. Lord Bolton and Jaime start to go back and forth on how many people would pay for Jaime’s freedom. “We both know who would pay the most, or make you pay the most if he found out you captured me and sent me back up North,” Jaime threatens Bolton. Bolton tells him he won’t sell him back to his father, but he will send him back to King’s Landing as long as Jaime swears to tell his daddy that Bolton didn’t maim him. The two come to a deal, except Bolton refuses to allow Brienne to leave with Jaime.  “I’m afraid I must insist,” Jaime rebukes.  But Bolton reminds Jaime, for what feels like the umpteenth time, that he is not in any position to barter.  I mean, he literally has one hand and is surrounded by a garrison of Northmen.

The next scene is a true delight to watch. Man, if there ever were two people meant to act on screen together, it’s these two. They’re literally a match made in heaven.

We find Lord Twyin Lannister and the Lady Olenna Tyrell discussing the proposal of a wedding between Cersei and Loras. Olenna is opposed to the idea; she believes Cersei is too old. She fears that “the most beautiful woman in the Seven Kingdoms” will soon no longer be able to bear children. Tywin shoots back, why does it matter if she can’t have children? The marriage will hide Loras’ night-time activities.  Olenna doesn’t care or deny it. She admits that he’s a “sword swallower, through and through.” She asks Tywin if he ever experimented in such activity. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him more uncomfortable. He insists that he would never take part in such “unnatural behavior.”

Then Olenna drops her final attempt at avoiding the wedding. “Brothers and sisters, where I come from that stain would be very difficult to wash out.” Tywin seems cornered for a second, but he retaliates. They bounce pointed questions off each other until finally Tywin shuts it down. If Olenna refuses to marry Loras to Cersei, he will appoint Loras to the King’s Guard, making it so he Loras can never marry, reproduce, or become heir to High Garden. “It’s a rare enough thing, a man who lives up to his reputation.” Olenna out. And unfortunately, Olenna gives in. Loras will marry Queen Cersei.

We have another loving family scene between brother and sister, Tyrion and Cersei Lanniser.  The two banter back and forth about how bad their situation is, as each is being forced by their father to marry someone of his choosing.  Cersei offers to have them both killed – meaning Sansa and Loras – but Tyrion doesn’t that’s an option.

Cersei does something then that no one else did before – she gives Tyrion his due credit for saving King’s Landing and acknowledges that the city would have been sacked without him.  Then Tyrion finally asks her the thing he’s been wondering most  – did she try to have him killed in the Battle of the Blackwater? Shockingly, it wasn’t her but her son, King Joffrey.  Tyrion figures this out because only two people can give an order to the King’s Guard – the King and the Queen Regent. Tyrion whines that Joffrey is an idiot, but really he’s just fearful that his life is still in danger. “Probably. But not from Joffrey, he won’t do anything while Father’s here.” Oh, won’t he? More on that later.

Cersei tells Tyrion that she is fearful that the Tyrell’s will take power from the Lannister’s and “history will be taken from their hands.” It’s sort of refreshing to see these two bonding and brooding over their impending fates. Then, Tyrion has to do an unfortunate task – break the news to Sansa and her hand-maiden, Shae, about the upcoming nuptuals.

Now here is one of the biggest mysteries in Game of Thrones.  Why did they set up this scene perfectly, only to not show it?? We see Tyrion enter Sansa’s room and painfully realize he has to tell his lover that he’s betrothed to another woman. Your heart breaks for Tyrion because you can see the pain written all over his face, no pun intended.  It’s ashame they didn’t show this. I would’ve paid a lot of money to see Shae’s reaction to Tyrion’s news.

Then we have what I like to call a HPP – Huge Power Play. This one was sort of subtle, but still extremely impactful. Well played again, writers.  Petyr Baelish and Lord Varys are in the Throne Room, having one of their playful conversations. We have seemingly innocent banter about the two of them competing with each other, and rooting against each other, until Petyr drops a bomb. He knows Ros betrayed him, he gave her to someone to do cruel things to her, and he thwarted Varys’ plan to marry Sansa off to the Tyrell’s.

“She was a bad investment on my part.” This sent chills through my body, as I recalled the time in Season 2 when Petyr threatened Ros.  “I did what I did for the good of the realm,” Varys responds painfully.  This is the first time I ever saw Varys with fear on his face, but I still don’t doubt what he says. He seems like one of few people who may truly want what is best for the realm.

Then comes the big reveal, as Petyr monologues about chaos (quoted above). King Joffrey is the man that took Ros and he murdered her by literally using her for target practice with his new bow. Varys failed to keep his promise to Ros and Petyr triumphantly leaves King’s Landing knowing he outwitted and outsmarted the Spider, much to the dismay of Sansa Stark, who is seen sobbing as she watches Petyr’s boat (and her last chance of escaping King’s Landing) sail away without her.

It’s a shame to see a character like Ros go with another un-shown scene, especially since we’ve gotten to know her in the last few seasons. But in a way, I’m glad I didn’t see that. So thanks wrtiers, for saving me from a nightmare or two.

House Targaryen

No Targaryen action, much to my dismay.  Hopefully, that will result in a double dose next week, or maybe even an entire episode dedicated to Dany.  A girl can dream, right?

House Baratheon

Again, poor poor Gendry (see Stark).

Rock Paper Watch’s Top Quote of 3X6:

Jenn’s Pick – “It’s hard to say which of the four of us is getting the worst arrangement.” …. “Probably Sansa.” -Tyrion Lannister

Elizabeth’s Pick – “If you think this has a happy ending, you haven’t been paying attention.”  -The Boy

Game of Thrones Recaps are authored by Jenn O’Mera (Lannister and Targaryen) and Elizabeth Bond (Stark and Baratheon).  Feel free to contact any author with feedback or questions.  Also, we know that some characters are not technically a part of any of the major houses, it’s easier to recap this way.


Leave a comment

Sneak Peek – GOT 3×5 “Kissed By Fire”

I’m trying really hard not to focus on the fact that Game of Thrones Season 3 is already 40% over.  Instead, I’m getting excited because there’s only three more sleeps until another new episode!  Here is a sneak peek of Sunday’s episode entitled “Kissed by Fire.”

The eerie title makes me think someone is going to feel the heat, and in the world of Game of Thrones, that probably means literally.  But, will it be the heat of Dany and her dragons, or of Beric Dondarrion, supporter of the Lord of Light, as he fights The Hound?   There is one thing we do know.  We are gearing up towards the second half of the season, and in Westeros, that usually means shit is about to hit the fan, and we couldn’t be more excited.

Just in case you missed last week’s episode, “And Now His Watch Is Ended”, check out our recap here.

New episodes of Game of Thrones air Sundays at 9pm on HBO.  And, in case you don’t catch the episode, RPW’s recap goes live by Monday.