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19 of the Sexiest TV Moments This Year

We’re counting down the sexiest moments of TV for the 2012-2013 season.  We’ve got it all from the “oh my goodness” to the “awwww.”  Get ready to fan yourself because things are about to get steamy!

1.  ‘Scandal’ Olivia and Fitz – The President’s Desk Will Never be the Same

When we initially started discussing this list, we knew right off the bat that Olivia and Fitz would take the cake. The hardest part was narrowing down which one of their steamy “its so wrong, but it feels so right” moments would make the cut. Once we started asking other Scandal viewers which moment was their favorite, this one was brought up time and time again. The sexual tension between these two is just off the charts, you know when these two get in a room together (specifically the oval office)…panties are going to drop.

2.  ‘The New Girl’ Nick and Jess – The Kiss

Boys, take a lesson in chemistry why don’t ya?

3. ‘Nashville’ Rayna and Deacon – FINALLY!

Is there anything to be said about this clip?  Not really, it’s just one of those you need to watch.  After a season of sexual tension and unfinished business, Nashville surprised us all by going there.  Instead of dragging it out, they passionately put them together.  And man, it was hot.

4. ‘Suits’ Mike and Rachel – That Can’t Be Legal

Mike and Rachel Suits

The sexual tension between these two has been building for two seasons now.  With several will they, won’t they, Mike screwed it up again moments we finally got what we’ve been waiting for and it DID NOT disappoint.  The emotionally charged scene starts with Rachel confronting Mike about why he wouldn’t send Harvard Law School a letter objecting to her rejection.  It seems he’s going to keep the truth from her until he says, “You don’t understand what I have been through, you don’t understand what I have lost.  Because it is everything, everyone that I love. Trevor. My grandmother. Harvey. Hell, probably this job.  I’m not ready to lose you, not today!” “Then tell me,” she demands.  It’s then that we see a change in Mike, he has to tell her.  With that, Mike finally admits that he never went to Harvard. Rachel reacts with anger, she slaps him and begins to storm away.  He grabs her and with a passionate kiss she gives into him and it’s on.  What’s next for Mike and Rachel?  We will soon find out, Season 3 starts July 16th.

5. ‘Game of Thrones’ Jon Snow and Ygritte – Jon Snow Does Know Some Things.

Jon Snow and Ygritte

Finally!  A Jon Snow sex scene.  In an effort to prove himself, Ygritte convinces Jon Snow to break his chastity vow.   “You swore some vows; I want you to break them,” she says while stripping in a cave no less.  Ygritte runs her hands through Snow’s hair and says, ”You know nothing, Jon Snow” just as he makes his way downtown proving he does know a little something-something.  In the afterglow, they playfully hop into one of the steamy cave pools for a bath.  ”Let’s not go back,” she says. “I don’t ever want to leave this cave, Jon Snow.”  It’s a sweet moment between two people falling in love.

6.  ‘Mad Men’ Don and Betty – A Reunion Of Sorts

Don and Betty

“This happened a long time ago.” – Betty

It’s the revenge of Betty, y’all.  The newly slim Betty kept the upper hand during this tryst when she found herself in bed with her ex-husband, and that’s what made it sexy.  She expressed no regrets at their night of passion and informed Don that she’s happy in her current marriage and no longer thinks about getting back together.  The kicker, she even sympathized with Don’s wife Megan, “That poor girl. She doesn’t know that loving you is the worst way to get to you.”  The next morning when Don woke up, he found his ex-wife happily eating breakfast with her current husband.  I was cheering at my TV, you go Betty!

7. ‘Girls’ Hannah and Adam – Hannah Gets Swept Off Her Feet

Every girl (whether they admit it or not) wants a grand gesture.  You may have hated Adam in the beginning of Girls but he proved us all wrong by coming to Hannah’s rescue during her OCD breakdown.  The best part?  “You’re here?,” whispers Hannah.  “I was always here,” replies Adam.  GOD!  Why can’t all guys be there when we need them?!

8. ‘Homeland’ Carrie and Brody – A Quick Rendezvous

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“Is this for real?” – Brody

This season, Brody acted as a double agent reporting to the CIA about an upcoming terrorist attack in which he plays an essential role.  Carrie, naturally, acted as his handler.  In episode 7, Brody, an up-and-coming politician had to attend a fundraiser.  Stressed about his double duties, he lost it and frantically called Carrie for a release.  She met Brody in the woods outside the fundraiser and just let him talk.  She listened to him recap the conversation he had with the party host, a Vietnam soldier who actually fought and didn’t disappear in a hole for eight years to reemerge as a terrorist. “He didn’t lose himself,” Brody said, “Worst part of it is, he believes I’m like him. That guy is the man I could have been, if I hadn’t…” Carrie reassuringly took his hand. They kissed, passionately.  Brody broke away “Is this for real?” he asked. Carrie replied, “I don’t know, and I don’t want you to feel used.” He tried kissing her again and then confessed: “You know what? I do feel used. And played. And lied to. But I also feel good.”  My favorite part about Homeland is how they have put together these two broken people.  They love each other endlessly but can’t seem to trust their emotions long enough to just let it be.

9. ‘Castle’ Kate and Castle – The Morning After

The after math of the Season 4 season finale. Would it be awkward? Will they just friends? What will they be?  They sure jumped right to the point with first episode of season 5….and we sure are glad they didn’t disappoint.

10. ‘The Vampire Diaries’ Caroline and Klaus – A Tender Goodbye

We know, we know.  Compared to the rest of the countdown this scene is pretty tame but is there anything sexier than a man willing to wait?  “Tyler is your first love, I intend to be your last,” says Klaus with a sweet kiss on the cheek.  Klaus, if you ever get impatient, I volunteer!

11. ‘Game of Thrones’ Robb and Talisa – The Young Wolf Takes a Bite

Robb and Talisa Robb and Talisa

My word.  Two episodes before the Red Wedding we get this revealing scene between Robb and his wife Talisa.  The scene begins with the camera scaling up her body as it’s intertwined in Robb’s as he playfully kisses her.  As if that wasn’t delicious enough, he then bites and tugs on her lip.  GAWD!

12. ‘Downton Abbey’Lady Mary Crawley and Matthew Crawley – Confessions

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“I would never be happy with anyone else as long as you walk the earth, which is true. And I think you feel the same about me.”

After 2 season of “will they or won’t they?” Lady Mary Crawley and Matthew Crawley finally admit their undying love for one another and seal the deal in a wedding true to Downton style. There is nothing sexy about this show, if anything its the complete opposite, so, you’re probably wondering why its on our sexy list? Well, if a guy were to tell me or any girl for that matter that he’d “never be happy with anyone else as long as I walk the earth.” Well, things would then, in theory, get sexy.

13. ‘Covert Affairs’ Annie and Auggie – A Dance in a Dream

Annie and Auggie Kiss

After being shot and charged with treason, Annie lies unconscious at the hospital.  Auggie spends the episode trying to prove Annie’s innocence and sitting vigil at her bedside.  The epic scene starts with Auggie talking to Annie, “Annie, hey it’s me, Auggie.  You know, the guy that gave you the corvette.”  He begins they’re typical banter but then continues. “I miss you Annie, I have for a long time. Things have been different between us since Barcelona and it’s all my fault.  I’ve been closed off and distant and I can’t tell you how sorry I am for that.  I don’t know if you can hear me but I need you to wake up. I know you’re not a traitor and right now you’re the only one that can help me help you.  I need you Annie.  I never needed anyone but I need you.”  He gently takes her hand.

In Annie’s dreamland, she walks into a fancy lobby with Auggie.  They approach a door and he asks, “Do you trust me?”  She responds, “With my life.”  They walk into a fancy party, Auggie in a tux and Annie in a gorgeous red dress.  They gracefully begin to dance.  “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” he says.  “I clean up nicely, don’t I?,” she replies.  “I’m not talking about the clothes,” he says before kissing her.  The kiss is sweet and tender.  When they part, Annie asks to dance a little bit longer.  Auggie replies, “There’s nothing I’d like more but you and I both know this isn’t our song.  We’ll dance again Walker when the music is right.”  “Until then,” says Annie.

After three seasons of incredible chemistry, this is the first hint that Annie does have true feelings for Auggie and wants to act on them.  It’s a great moment for fans of the show.  In the finale, Auggie and Annie get their moment as he confesses his feelings and they share a passionate kiss.  This time, it wasn’t a part of a dream.

14. ‘The Vampire Diaries’ Damon and Elena – Vampire Sex.. Finally!

They teased us in season 3 with an epic kiss.  Once Elena became a vampire, the big question was who would get to pop her vampire cherry.  We got our answer in the scene above as she chooses Damon over long-term boyfriend Stefan.  Fans got their long awaited Delena scene, even if it was kind of ruined by Caroline’s realization that Elena is sired to Damon so of course she would choose him it was still hot as hell!

15. ‘How I Met Your Mother’ Ted and the Mother – 45 Days

There may not be any physical action in this scene, but is there anything sexier than a man proclaiming his love for a woman?  Nope.  “I’m here now, I guess because I want those extra 45 days with you.  I want each one of them,” says future Ted who has traveled back in time to talk to his future wife even though they’re just 45 days away from meeting.  This scene also served as a welcome reminder that the end is near, Ted (and viewers) will soon meet the mother.  And we did just that in the season finale.

16. ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ Karev and Jo – Find Your Crazy

Talk about stretching things out.  When we first met Jo at the start of season 9, she felt important.  In episode 9, Karev and Jo we’re paired together for Bailey’s wedding and all of a sudden her presence made sense.  She is the female Alex.  Over the next 15 episodes we watched Alex slowly realize his love for Jo.  When he did, he fought it saying that she was crazy.  Meredith quickly pointed out, “Maybe Jo’s crazy fits your crazy.  Don’t give up on her just yet, we didn’t give up on you.”  Later, when the moment was right Karev told her his true feelings leading to one of the few happy moments of this year’s Greys finale.

17. ‘Nashville’ Gunnar and Scarlett – Meeting in the Middle

First, he kissed her and she pulled away.  Then she kissed him back, but it was after his brother died and he was an emotional wreck.  Afterwards, he turned her away and called it a mistake.  Finally, they met in the middle.  “It wasn’t pity,” she tells him about the night before. “I don’t think it was a mistake either,” he replies.  Even though their relationship has been a rollercoaster and the season ended with a shocking proposal, you can’t help but replay this moment.  Their duets, as well as their passion is untouchable and I cannot get enough.

18. ‘Parks and Recreation’ Leslie and Ben – Mac and Cheese Pizza

It’s true, the way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach and here is the proof.

19. ‘American Horror Story’ The Honeymooners – Scary Sex

Adam Levine and Jenna Dewan Tatum

Adam Levine and Jenna Dewan Tatum play a pair of twisted newlyweds enjoying their honeymoon by visiting haunted locations throughout the US.  Briarcliff, the home of season 2, is the last stop on their list.  After wandering through the halls, he eventually straps her to a table and they go at it.  The scene is dirty, and I mean dirty!  Shortly after they are interrupted by the season’s villain, Bloodyface.  And well, it’s all downhill from there.

The sexiest list was constructed by Rock Paper Watch authors Elizabeth Bond and Ashley Foster.  Feel free to reach out with comments or questions.  Thanks for reading!

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Game of Thrones 3×10 Recap

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Well, there you have it folks.  Another season of Game of Thrones down and now begins the waiting.  We breakdown the final episode and discuss where things could go moving forward.  Feel free to comment with your thoughts!

House Stark

Are you still grieving from last week?  I know I am.  Every time I close my eyes, I see Talisa getting repeatedly stabbed in the stomach or the episode-ending blow to Catelyn.  This week’s episode picks up right after the massacre.  Roose Bolton overlooks the mass violence from Frey’s castle.  The Hound is trying to sneak Arya away from the slaughter.  A group of Frey’s men are loudly chanting “King in the North.”  I was afraid we were going to see this.  The men have Robb’s body on a horse with his direwolf Grey Wind’s head in place of his own.  Poor Arya, naturally she chooses this moment to wake up and see her brother’s mutilated body being paraded by his murderers.

After things calm down, Lord Frey is having a celebratory snack as Roose Bolton parades around the dining hall absorbing the carnage.  From their conversation, we learn that Catelyn’s uncle, The Blackfish, escaped and the groom, Edmure Tully, wasn’t murdered, but spent his wedding night in the dungeon.  But all of that is old news.  Frey is getting all worked up thinking about his new bride to replace the one Catelyn killed.

Finally, we get an explanation from Roose about why he turned on Robb.  Being his right hand man, the Young Wolf constantly ignored his advice at every turn.  Now, Robb will just be “Forever Young.”  As Roose and Frey continue their conversation, we FINALLY learn who has Theon and what happened at Winterfell.

Theon Greyjoy is being held captive by Roose Bolton’s bastard, Ramsey Snow.  Ramsey also set fire to Winterfell and is using Theon as a way to persuade the Iron Islands out of the North.

Did you figure it out?  Does this mean anything to you?  From conversations I’ve had with watchers (not readers), they were unclear about the identity of Roose Bolton.  Truthfully, he’s been on screen since Season 2 but always lurking in the shadows and easily missed by audiences so this may not feel like an impactful reveal, but the GOT creators have been carefully planting hints for a few episodes.  Read more about them here.

We catch up with Ramsey and Theon during dinner as Ramsey is suggestively chomping on a sausage while poking fun at Theon for losing his best quality.  Yes ladies, we have another reason to mourn.  Theon is now a eunich.

Ramsey has now figured out that physically torturing Theon is no longer enough.  He has to take his pride, any last shred of identity and self respect.  After beating him for a bit, Ramsey forces Theon to identify himself by a new name—Reek.

Moving to the Iron Islands, Balon Greyjoy is opening a letter from Ramsey Snow ordering Balon’s men out of the North.  As Balon is reading the letter, Theon’s sister Yara is opening a box.  Before she even unwraps it, we know what’s in there and I’m just glad we didn’t have to see it.  Ramsey has sent Theon’s “member” to his family as a threat.  Theon’s sister is deeply impacted by her brother’s loss.  Balon could care less.  In his eyes, Theon can no longer continue the Greyjoy line.  What use is he now?  Balon has no interest in saving Theon.  Yara has other ideas.  She plans to march on Dreadfort and rescue her brother.  She’s gathering the strongest men and the best ship and is on a mission.  It will be interesting to see this play out in the next season.  I know this time last year, we all hated Theon.  Have your thoughts changed?  Do you pity him or still think he got what he deserved?

Arya and the Hound are making their way to the next destination.  On the way, they pass some of Frey’s troops making jokes about the Red Wedding and Robb’s mutilation.  She triumphantly jumps off the horse.  Unlike we’ve seen Arya in the past, she’s not approaching them confidently but sheepishly.  She’s using her youth to her advantage to gain their trust.  She offers one of them her coin in exchange for food.  The coin was giving to her by her assassin friend Jaqen last season.  When the man goes to grab it, she stabs him and stabs him and stabs him.

The Hound quickly jumps in the kill off the rest of them men. “Next time you’re going to do something like that, tell me first,” says The Hound.

This is a big turning point for Arya. It’s her first direct, intential kill.  Arya reveals that she stole The Hound’s knife without him realizing it.  I’m curious to see how hanging out with The Hound will help Arya to grow.  I have a feeling he will provide an outlet for her anger.  I hope he continues her training that we saw in season one.

Bran and company have taken up camp in another abandoned castle, this time closer to The Wall.  Hodor (providing some much needed comedic relief) does his hodor-ing, this time down a well.

Bran tells Jojen and Meera a ghost story about a man who was condemned for killing a guest beneath his room (the gods are coming for you Frey).  Later that night, there’s a noise that wakes up Bran.  It’s Sam and Gilly and I’m so happy to see them!  They made their way through the secret passageway through The Wall.  Sam immediately figures out that Bran is Bran, Jon Snow’s brother.  Bran tries to pretend there’s some other young lord who’s crippled wandering around the North with a direwolf.  Once Bran “reveals” who he is, Sam promises to do anything he can to help them.  “Take us north of The Wall,” requests Bran.  That’s probably the last thing Sam wants to hear.  Is this Bran’s purpose?  Is he essential in defeating the White Walkers?

Sam guides Bran and company to The Wall, provides them with some dragonglass and stresses the importance of staying safe.  The whole time I couldn’t help but think “Man, when Jon Snow finds out he’s gonna be PISSED!”

Later Sam and Gilly make their way to Castle Black and explain to the Maester what they saw beyond The Wall.  The Maester inquires about Gilly and her son (who is now named Sam, awwww).  Sam defends keeping Gilly at Castle Black and points out that The Wall was not erected to keep out Wildlings.  Aemon decides that Gilly will stay as a guest.  After that he sends a blast mailing to all of Westeros alerting them of the White Walkers and the impending danger.

Speaking of Jon Snow, we catch up with him as he licks his wounds from that eagle last week.  Ygritte has tracked him down and we get this exchange:

Jon Snow:  Ygritte you know I didn’t have a choice.  You always knew who I was, what I am.  I have to go home now.  I know you won’t hurt me.
Ygritte:  You know nothing, Jon Snow.
Snow:  I do know some things.  I know I love you.  I know you love me.  I have to go home now.

Then, in probably the most shocking part of the episode, SHE SHOOTS HIM!  Ygritte shoots him with three arrows as he’s trying to board his horse and get away.  Later, Snow’s frail body approaches Castle Black and is immediately let in.  Hanging on to life, he reunites with Sam.  God, I love a bromance.

House Baratheon

Ser Davos, while visiting Gendry in the dungeon, bonds with him over their humble beginnings in Fleabotton.  Gendry defends his actions with the Red Woman.  “You’re me.  Never been with a woman, never talked to a woman really.  Then she comes at you.  Big words, no clothes, what would you have done?”  Davos then tells Gendry of his son.  Obviously Davos feels some kind of remorse and blame for what happened to his son during the Battle of Blackwater.  He sees some of his son in Gendry and feels the need to protect him.

Later, Stannis and Melisandre learn of Robb’s death and are tickled that their leech trick worked.  It’s obvious what they must do next.  They plan to burn Gendry alive.  Davos is not having it.  He warns Stannis of using black magic to win a war.  Stannis counters with the story of the Targaryens and how they won Westeros with dragons aka black magic.  “What is the life of one bastard boy against a kingdom?” Stannis asks.  “Everything,” replies Davos.

Davos decides to take matters into his own hands.  He sneaks Gendry out of the castle and puts him on a boat and tells him where to row to escape.  Gendry, we’ll miss you and your abs.

Later, Daavos is being reprimanded by Stannis, and he condemns him to death.  Davos, as the Hand of the King, advises against it and then whips out his secret weapon.  It’s the letter from Maester Aemon expressing the dangers beyond The Wall.  Melisandre inspects the letter and then throws it into the fire.  I guess we can assume she got some type of vision from the fire about the future.  She agrees, “The true war lies to the North.”  She advises that Stannis spare Davos, he’ll need him in the future.

House Lannister

We meet up with the Lannisters’ with Tyrion and Sansa (odd that she’s now a Lannister) walking through King’s Landing with Shae trailing behind. The pair of them are peculiar – one the daughter of traitor Ned Stark and the other a demon monkey – so as they walk, people are mocking them. The two have developed an odd friendship and they try to help each other suffer through their situation. It turns out that Tyrion also keeps a list, just like Sansa’s sister. But he doesn’t intend to kill the people on his list, just make them suffer and wish they were dead. The two of them begin to plot ways to punish Tyrion’s listees when Sansa suggests they “sheep shift” their beds.  “Why sheep shift?,” Tyrion asks his new wife. It’s almost cute – the poor girl thinks it’s the correct vulgar word for dung. Just another little reminder for Tyrion about the young age of his new bride.

Pod calls Tyrion off to the Small Council meeting. King Joffrey is in attendance now, and he’s bursting with joy with news to share with Tyrion. Tyrion reads a note from a raven. “Roslyn caught a fine fat trout. Her brother’s gave her a pair of wolf pelts for her wedding. ~ Walder Frey” We wish it was bad poetry, Tyrion, but it’s not. Joffrey ecstatically reveals that Robb Stark and his “bitch mother” are dead, and he demands that Frey send Robb’s head to the capital so Joffrey can serve it to Sansa at his wedding. Cersei tries to pretend like Joffrey is joking but he insists otherwise until Sansa’s new hubbie speaks up. Tyrion declares that Sansa is no longer his to torment. “Everyone is mine to torment,” Joffrey replies. Tyrion then reminds Joffrey that kings are dropping like flies. He essentially threatens to kill him and Tyrion probably crossed the line this time, but he doesn’t back down. Joffrey yells about how he’s the king and you can’t talk to him like that, like he always does, until Tywin Lannister speaks up for his son. “Any man who must say I am the king is no true king,” says Tywin. Joffrey is shocked.

And (finally!) Tywin and Joffrey go at it. Joffrey touches a soft spot when he mocks Tywin for “hiding under Casterly Rock” during Robert’s Rebellion. Even Cersei realizes that Joffrey is overstepping his safe boundaries. Tywin Lannister is the most powerful man in Westeros. He made that clear when he executed the Red Wedding, when he squashed the entire Northern Rebellion with one strategic move. Joffrey may be the king, but like Tywin says, a crown does not give you power. Power is power, and Tywin has all of it. Then, Tywin does something really unexpected. He puts little King Joff to bed, and as Tyrion so aptly puts it, even without dinner. Joffrey honestly looked like a toddler when he yelled “I’m not tired!” I was waiting for him to stomp his feet in a tantrum. But he doesn’t and he goes off to bed like his grandfather commands.

Tyrion tries to leave, until he hears the infamous line, “Not you.” It’s not ever you, Tyrion, why do you even try to leave? Tyrion and Tywin talk about the great crime that Tywin just committed. Tyrion recognizes immediately that Frey would have done nothing that grievous without Tywin’s backing and he eerily warns his father that “the Northerners will never forget.” Tywin tries to morally justify the Red Wedding. He argues that it’s better to save the lives of thousands and kill a few royal men at dinner than it is to fight in war.  He dismisses Tyrion’s fears about the North. “Let them remember what happens when they march on the South.”

Tywin tells Tyrion that Roose Bolton is going to be Warden of the North until Sansa and Tyrion’s son comes of age. Hold up, speaking of son. Tywin reminds Tyrion that he needs to get to work on that, but Tyrion refuses to rape his wife. How…sweet? The whole conversation was completely disturbing. Tywin then tells Tyrion the key to success in Westerosi politics. “The House that puts family first will always defeat the House that puts the whims and wishes of its sons and daughters first.” Tyrion laughs at his father, and asks Tywin when he ever did anything that wasn’t of his own selfish desires. Tywin (of course) has a shocking response – the day that he decided not to kill infant Tyrion. Tywin even cries a little bit during this speech when he talks about saving Tyrion’s life only because he was a Lannister. Wow, allowing his infant son to live must have been really painful for him.

Tyrion goes back to deliver the horrible news about the Red Wedding to Sansa but thankfully, we are not subjected to the pain of seeing Sansa find out. She already knows.

Varys and Shae have a touching scene where he asks her to leave King’s Landing. He gives her a sack of diamonds, and tells her the reason she needs to leave is because she makes things dangerous and complicated for Tyrion. Varys and Shae bond over the fact that they are both commoners, and will never truly be able to sit among the royals. “You have one name, as do I. Here, only the family name matters,” Varys reminds Shae. It seems Varys truly does believe that Tyrion is a good man, and the best chance Westeros has in becoming a better place. But with Shae around, Tyrion will accomplish nothing. Shae refuses to leave until Tyrion asks her to leave on his own. Though, I’m not sure if Tyrion actually has anything to do with this visit from Varys. I’m almost sure that he doesn’t, and that he’d be furious if he knew it was happening.

Pod and Tyrion are drinking. Pod is having trouble keeping up. “It’s not easy being drunk all the time. Everyone would do it if it were easy,” Tyrion drunkenly educates Pod. Cersei Lannister enters from the shadows to spend some QT time with her baby brother. Cersei finally explains how she manages to sleep at night – she doesn’t think about the cruel things that happen to anyone. She also insists she won’t marry Loras, but doesn’t share any plans of how she’ll avoid her destiny. She implores Tyrion to give Sansa a baby, claiming that she wishes for that only so Sansa can have happiness in her life. Cersei reveals that her children are the only reason she hasn’t committed suicide, even her demented child, Joffrey. She shares some cute baby Joff stories, and openly acknowledges how awful he is now. Tyrion then asks his sister how long it will all go on, and she knows exactly what he means. Their fathers’ wars will go on as long as he has enemies, and he will always have enemies, so they better buckle up for the violent road they’re heading down.

I was a little disappointed with this final Cersei/Tyrion scene. Cersei seemed a little underused and overshadowed this season, with all the power players cooped up in King’s Landing. But, I know there is a lot of Cersei’s story left to come, so I can deal with it for now.

Jaime Lannister makes it back to King’s Landing with Brienne of Tarth. The two can say so much with just a look. He’s upset no one recognizes (or respects) him, and she lets him know that it’s okay. He’s still Jaime to her, not the Kingslayer, no matter what. But, as much as I want these two to be together, I doubt it will happen. Jaime goes to see Cersei right away. He says her name, and she turns knowingly. She looks shocked? relieved? dismayed to see him? It’s not really clear. He looks ashamed. I don’t get it — it’s not his fault he’s been missing all this time, and mamed in the process. Is she really that mad over a hand? Sheesh.

House Targaryen

We finally catch up with the Dragon Queen in the final scene of the episode. The episode is entitled “Mhsya,” and up to this point, there was no mention of the Valeryian word. So one could assume that it would tie heavily into the Targaryen storyline. And boy, did it.

Dany is waiting outside of the gates of Yunkai, the city that she most recently “sacked” or killed all of the slave masters, flanked by Ser Jorah Mormont, Missandei, Ser Barristan Selmy, Daario Naharis, three dragons, and 8,000 Unsullied. She looked fierce and magnificent, and also a little terrifying.  Dany is unsure how the slaves of Yunkai will receive her – Is she a conqueror or a liberator? – and she seems unnerved as the gates slowly began to open. The slaves of Yunkai began to march out in droves.  Missandei introduced Dany as “Daenerys Targaryen, the Stormborn, the Unburnt, the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros, the Mother of Dragons.” Dany steps forward and tells the people that they don’t owe her their freedom, because their freedom is not hers to give. She encourages them to take their freedom back, and stands waiting for a response. Slowly, they begin raising their hands and shouting “Mhysa.” Missandei, shocked, tells her that this means “Mother.” Dany realizes that they won’t hurt her, and moves forward into the crowd on her own while the dragons fly above.

She walks among them, and then is carried rockstar-style above them, all the while they shout Mhysa and look at her with adoration and love. Her Queen’s Guard watches on in shock and awe as Dany is carried among the people. Then, the camera pans into an aerial shot, where you can see the immense size of the group of people flocking towards her, and she stands as the lone silver beacon among a sea of thousands and thousands of slaves.

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The entire scene took my breath away, and it ended Season 3 on an inspirational and uplifting note. Dany has truly come full circle.  At the end of Season 1, she is left childless and widowed. She has three dragons, but no army, no money, and no ships. At the end of Season 2, she finally has managed to get money and ships, but still no army. By the end of Season 3, Dany has a horde following her, and thousands of people who look at her as their liberator and their mother. It’s almost as if she had to lose her own child, and suffer through great personal tragedy and loss, in order to become this powerful ruler. Recall early in Season 3 when her advisors tell her it is critical to gather a following not based on fear, but love. Dany did that, and now she has a force that truly can beat any army in Westeros. But, is that the destiny of Dany’s horde, or is there a greater purpose for Dany and her dragon army?

Final Thoughts on Season 3:

As we conclude Season 3 and wait ten months for a new season, we can’t help but think that GOT is entering a whole new ball game. With so many major characters dying, and the Northern Rebellion ending, the story is advancing into new and unknown territory. The main source of conflict is over, so we’re left thinking – now what?

Melisandre laid it out best when she said that the War of Five Kings means nothing now and the true threat lies to the North. What does this mean for the rest of Westeros, who are mostly ignorant of the impending doom? When will Tywin Lannister pay attention to the real threat, or will he ignore it? If so, will that mistake cost him? Also, how will Bran and his friends tie into all of this? Was Sam right, will this peculiar group of wargs and Hodor save the world? Can Bran really warg into anything? If so, that must include dragons. Can Bran use the dragons to burn all of the walkers? More importantly, when will Dany learn about everything that’s happening, and finally return to Westeros?

Only time will tell. For now, we just want to thank the GOT showrunners for producing another phenomenal season of television. We also want to thank you, our readers, for following us all season long. We hope to catch up with you next year when we recap GOT Season 4!

Rock Paper Watch’s Top Quote of 3X10:

Jenn’s Pick – “Monsters are dangerous and, just now, kings are dying like flies.” – Tyrion Lannister to King Joffrey

Elizabeth’s Pick – “You really think a crown gives you power?”   – Tywin Lannister summing up Game of Thrones in one, incredible sentence

Game of Thrones Recaps are authored by Jenn O’Mera (Lannister and Targaryen) and Elizabeth Bond (Stark and Baratheon).  Feel free to contact any author with feedback or questions.  


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Game of Thrones 3×9 Recap

Robb Talisa Red Wedding

Every year, Game of Thrones watchers know that the ninth episode of the season is going to be a doozy.  The first season, it was the death of Eddark Stark.  The second season, it was the Battle of the Blackwater.  This time it was the Red Wedding.  The Red Wedding has been a scene dreaded by book-reader fans since the series was announced.  It didn’t disappoint.  The show delivered one of the most brutal and horrific sequences ever aired on television.  I am still in shock and will probably be mourning for the next few days.  Before we dive into the wedding, let’s check in with the rest of Westeros.

If you haven’t watched Game of Thrones episode 3×9 “The Rains of Castamere” stop reading, spoilers ahead.

 

House Targaryen

In what feels almost like a side story this week, we catch up with Daenerys and Co. Dany and her flock of men are discussing strategy on how to best infiltrate Yunkai.  Dany needs help figuring out the map and Daario is more than happy to assist her.  Jorah can’t take the flirtation.  Daario points out a location where he can secretly enter the city – a back gate that the Second Sons used to sneak in and out prostitutes.  Jorah wants to know how he knows about it; Daario rebukes him.  He didn’t use this gate as Daario believes you cannot make love to property, or slaves.  So Daario knows Dany’s weak spots, interesting.

Daario presents a plan – the best three fighters will infiltrate the city through the back gate.  They will then move to the front gate, open it for the army, and unleash Dany’s forces on the city, sacking it in no time.  Jorah doubts Daario and his intentions, believing it to be an ambush.  “You’re a suspicious person.  In my experience, only dishonest people think this way,” Daario responds.  Ouch, Jorah. He knows your weak spots, too.

Dany asks Grey Worms what he thinks and he trusts Daario and the plan.  So it’s decided.  The trio will leave that night.  Barristan tries to join the group but Jorah won’t let him.  He insists that Barristan is the Queen’s Guard and that his place is by the Queen’s side.   He reminds Barristan that they must “do whatever needs to be done, no matter the cost, no matter our pride.” Hmm, this is interesting.  These two clearly have a lot of tension together and trouble has been brewing in paradise for a while.  I think this is foreshadowing to something happening that ends up shaking up Dany’s group of advisors very soon.

Daario, Jorah, and Grey Worm are next seen preparing to enter the back gate of Yunkai.  Daario says he will enter, kill the guards, and whistle a signal. “I’m a great whistler, greatest whistler in the land. “  Jorah can barely hide his eye roll.  Pretty quickly we hear a whistle and he actually is pretty good.  So the three men are in, and they are preparing to face what they think will be a few guards. They are soon faced by way more than a few guards.  But with some impressive sword and arakh (Dothraki weapon of choice) work by Jorah and Daario, oh and spear work by Grey Worm, can’t forget him, they are through them pretty quickly.  And I feel like I have to point out that Jorah has some impressive skills.  But he is not pleased. “That’s what you call a few guards?”, he grumbles to Daario.  As if on cue, a huge group of guards come storming in, encircling them.  How can they make it out of this one alive?

Dany is waiting at camp with Missandei and Barristan.  “How long does it take to sack a city?,” she asks impatiently.  Jorah and Grey Worm suddenly return, bloody and beaten but alive.  The plan worked, and everyone in Yunkai surrendered or died.  But Dany seems disinterested.  All she wants to know about is the whereabouts of Daario Naharis.  The look on Jorah’s face is devastating.  He finally realizes Dany definitely doesn’t return his feelings, and cares way more about the new young captain in her ranks.  Daario gallantly enters the tent kneeling down in front of the Queen presenting her with the flag of Yunkai.  “The city is yours, my Queen.”  Dany has won, and her horde has just grown to a terrifying size.

Interesting Viewing Party Commentary – “At this point, the only thing that can take down Dany and her forces is if she somehow can come face to face with Bran.  Why couldn’t Bran figure out a way to warg into a dragon and turn her own greatest weapon on her?” ~ Insight from my roommate

We guess only time will tell.

House Stark

Samwell and Gilly – Sam and Gilly have finally made it to The Wall.  As they march through the woods, Sam tells Gilly about a secret passageway through The Wall.  She wants to know how he knows about it.  Sam tells her he learned it by reading.  Gilly replies, “you know all that by staring at marks on paper…you’re like a wizard!”  Sam immediately lights up, he’s so cute and smitten!

As they approach The Wall, Gilly tells Sam that her father once said that no Wildling ever looked upon The Wall and lived.  “And here we are, alive!”  Oh Gilly, its not that easy.  But, speaking of Wildlings…

Jon Snow – Snow and the Wildlings find the Night Watch’s horse breeder.  Giantsbane wants to steal the horses and kill the breeder.  Snow is against the idea, arguing that it’s not worth killing an innocent man, they should just take the horses and go.  Giantsbane replies that this is part of the plan, to lure the Watchmen out and kill them away from their camp.  With that, they storm the breeder’s home.  On the way in, Snow bangs his sword on a rock warning the breeder.  As the breeder climbs onto a horse Ygritte draws her bow and arrow.  Snow says her name tenderly and she misses.  She looks at him shocked.

Snow and the Wildlings catch up with the breeder; Orell demands that Jon Snow cut his throat, “Make the crow kill him, you’re one of us now. Prove it!” Snow picks up his sword and holds it to the man’s throat.  He hesitates.  Those Starks and their big hearts, it gets them every time (more on this later).  Meanwhile, in a nearby tower…

Bran/Rickon – Bran and the gang are taking refuge from a storm in a tower that overlooks Snow, the Wildlings, and the breeder.  The thunder upsets Hodor, he starts Hodoring and storming around the tower.  It’s loud enough to attract the attention of the Wildlings down below.  Bran, desperate to get Hodor to be quiet, knocks him out with his mind.  Hmm, interesting.

Jojen convinces Bran to use his Warg powers to enter the minds of the direwolves, who are down there hunting so they can see what is going on outside of the tower.

Jon Snow is holding his sword to the breeder’s throat.  Everyone around him is telling him to do it, even the breeder!  Ygritte, knowing he can’t do it, shoots the breeder.  “He’s a crow, he’ll always be a crow, and here’s his crow wife guarding him.  He’ll stab us in the back first chance he gets,” says Orell.  “Kill him,” replies Giantsbane and it’s on.  Snow immediately pushes Ygritte out of it so she’s not fighting his battle for him.  Giantsbane grabs her and forces her to watch, “You’re not going to die for one of them!” he screams at her.

The direwolves (via Bran) help Snow by attacking the Wildlings.  There’s a brief moment where Snow looks around and is like wait a second, where did these direwolves come from!? He stabs Orell in the stomach and says, “You were right the whole time,” proving to the Wildlings and viewers that he never intended to abandon the Watch.  Orell uses his Warg powers to get an eagle to attack Snow.  This part made me squirm; I was really worried he was going to lose an eye.  Snow hops on a horse and leaves Ygritte and the Wildlings.  Man, that’s a sucky way to get dumped.

After things quiet down, Jojen explains to Bran that although Wargs exist North of the Wall, he’s a special kind because he can enter other people’s minds.  Jojen reiterates their need to go North of the Wall to find the three-eyed crow.  I’m not a 100% sure of why this is so important, but okay, let’s go with it.  Osha protests going North of the Wall and you can’t blame her; she worked hard to get south of it.  Bran makes a decision; Osha will take Rickon to one of the Stark bannerman while the rest of the gang continues north.

Arya – The Hound and Arya are on their way to the wedding.  They come upon a wagon.  The Hound helps the old man fix his wagon and then knocks him out.  He moves to kill him and Arya jumps in front of him.  Much like Jon Snow, she protests the death of a man who didn’t do anything wrong.  “You’re very kind,” he says “Some day it will get you killed (foreshadowing).”  Oh the Stark family and their big hearts, I just can’t deal with it.

Later, Arya and The Hound arrive at The Twins.  The Hound stops just outside the grounds for a little snack.  Arya is getting anxious she won’t really get to meet up with her family.  Like Bran and Jon Snow, she’s almost there.  She’s been crossed too many times to be optimistic.  When The Hound teases her, she replies, “Someday I’m going to put a sword through your eye and out the back of your skull.”  Damn.

Robb – “Are you sure about this?” asks Catelyn.  They are standing over his map discussing the plan to go after the Lannister home of Casterly Rock (hello there Theon hint, click at your own risk).  Catelyn is surprised to be back in her son’s inner circle, he explains that she was right about sending Theon to bargain with the Greyjoys and he respects her ability to think strategically.  Now, he’s asking for her advice.  The plan hinges on getting Frey’s forgiveness and troops.  Catelyn gives her blessing, “Show them how it feels to lose what they love.”  Oy, that was like a blow to the stomach.

At The Twins, Frey greets the Stark entourage with a tray of bread and salt.  In the Seven Kingdoms, it’s said that you cannot harm a person in your home once they’ve partaken of your bread and salt.  Robb begs for forgiveness since he is responsible for breaking the oath to marry one of Frey’s daughters.  Frey brings out his daughters and explains that Robb could have had his pick of any one of them, including both twins!  Robb explains, “My ladies, all men should keep their word, kings most of all.  I was pledged to marry one of you and I broke that vow.  The fault is not with you.  Any man would be lucky.  I did what I did not to slight you but because I loved another.”  Talisa, that’s your cue.  Frey wants to see what all the fuss is about.  She steps forward. “Very pretty,” Frey says. “Prettier than this lot.”  He says she’s trying to hide her figure under her dress but he has always been able to see what goes on under a dress. “You wanted to hide her you shouldn’t have brought her here in the first place,” says Frey.  He then continues as Robb stifles his anger and Talisa braves his remarks “I say he betrayed me for firm tits and a tight fit, and I can respect that. When I was your age I would have broken 50 oaths to get into that without a second thought.”

During the ceremony, Frey brings out a heavily veiled bride for Robb’s uncle Edmure.  After seeing Frey’s daughters earlier, Edmure is expecting the worse.  But surprise, she’s gorgeous.  Edmure breathes a sigh of relief and the ceremony continues.

We then move into the grand hall for the feast.  Everyone is in good spirits.  Catelyn and Roose Bolton are, dare I say, flirting.  Edmure and his wife are totally smitten.  Robb is looking at Talisa like his heart could just burst he loves her so much.  Frey interrupts and declares that it is time for the bedding ceremony.  It’s kind of creepy that this is the girl’s father saying it’s time for her deflowering, but whatever. The bride and groom are escorted out by the opposite sex to the bedroom, where they basically get to watch them mess around.

Robb and Talisa hang back and discuss the peculiar tradition.  He explains that it provides proof that the marriage has been consummated.  She redirects his attention to her growing belly and explains there are other ways of providing proof.  Robb asks Talisa if she’s having a boy or a girl.  She says if it’s a boy she wants to name him Eddard.  Oh man, my heartstrings.  They kiss.  Catelyn, looking on, smiles.  The family is joyous again and soon Arya will be joining, oh happy day!

Then a man marches to the back of the chamber and closes the door.  Catelyn watches him.  She seems concerned.   Then the band begins to play “The Rains of Castamere.”  As we learned from Cersai last week, the song was dedicated to Tywin Lannister after he crushed the House Reyne of Castamere.  The song is the Lannister anthem.  As soon as it starts, we know and Catelyn knows this is not good.  She cautiously returns to her seat.

Outside Robb’s direwolf Grey Wind begins to whine.  He is trapped in a cage.  Robb’s men are getting drunk.  Arya and The Hound arrive in their wagon, but they’re told they cannot enter since the feast is over.  Soldiers run past them into the gate.

The music stops and Lord Frey addresses Robb.  Catelyn, in full panic-mode, looks at Roose Bolton and he gives her a look.  It could only be described as Come on; you know what’s going to happen next, don’t you?  He then glances down at his sleeve.  She pulls the sleeve back and he’s wearing chain.  He’s dressed for a fight.  You don’t wear chain to a wedding.

While all of this is going on, Frey is saying that he hasn’t given Robb a wedding present.

Catelyn rushes to stand and slaps Bolton screaming “ROBB!”  Bolton runs away.  A man runs up behind Talisa and stabs her, repeatedly, right in the abdomen.  He won’t stop stabbing her!  Robb sees it and is genuinely shocked.  He can’t understand what is happening.  His love, his baby, all the blood.

Crossbows begin to fire from the balconies.  Robb is struck and he falls.  Catelyn is shot through the shoulder.  His men are being killed.  It is a massacre.

Outside, Arya sees Robb’s men being killed.  She notices Grey Wind in the pin and moves towards it to free him.  Then Frey’s men storm out and surround the pin, firing crossbows killing Grey Wind.  The Hound tells Arya “it’s too late” and knocks her out to take her away.  She was so close.

Robb struggles to stand, he crawls over to Talisa.  “The King in the North arises,” says Frey, obviously entertained at all this bloodshed.  Robb’s love is dying alone on the floor; he has to be with her.  Catelyn sees one of Frey’s young wives cowering under a table.  She drags the girl out from under the table by her hair.  Catelyn holds a knife to the terrified girls throat.

She begins to plead with Lord Frey to let Robb go. “Enough! Let it end! Please! He is my son, my first son! Let him go and I swear we will forget this.  I swear it by the old gods and the new we will take no vengeance.”

Frey replies “You already swore me one oath right here in my castle you swore by all the gods that your son would marry my daughter.”

Catelyn continues her plea, “Take me for a hostage, but let Robb go.”

She then turns to her son, “Robb, get up! Get up and walk out, please.  Please!”

Frey smugly asks, “And why would I let him do that.”

Catelyn gathers the remaining of her strength and announces, “On my honor as a Tully.  On my honor as a Stark.  Let him go or I will cut your wife’s throat.”

Behind her, Robb stands.

Frey goes “I’ll find another.”

Robb says,  “Mother…” like he wanted to say, it’s okay, it’s done, we can rest.

Bolton comes up to deliver Robb’s killing blow, “The Lannisters send their regards.”

Robb falls. Catelyn wails.  She kills the girl.  Then she’s killed.  Silence.

That’s it; there you have it, the Red Wedding.  I cried on my couch in the fetal position for a little bit.  Robb was supposed to be our hero; he was avenging his father’s death.  He was winning the war. They ate the bread and salt.  Arya was just outside.  Everything about it was so wrong and harsh and heartbreaking.  They killed everybody.  He was in love; there was a baby on the way, a little Eddard no less!  And that was his biggest mistake.  Robb Stark died because he fell in love.  Like I said, those Starks and their big hearts.

What’s next?  Where can it go from here?  Does this mean the Starks are no longer major players?  When did Bolton change sides?  Our guess is when he freed Jaime Lannister.  Remember all those letters Tywin was writing while we enjoyed a little comedic relief?  Now we know he was pulling the strings for the Red Wedding, he was behind all of it.

Keeping with this season’s theme of love versus honor, love  continues to come at a very high price in Westeros.  What does this mean for the other characters dealing with the same struggle?  Now that Jaime will be back in Kings Landing, what lengths will he go to reunite with Cersei?  Is it really that easy for Snow to abandon Ygritte and choose the Night’s Watch?  What about Tyrion and Shae?  How far will he go to keep his intentions with Sansa hidden from his father, and the love of his life safe from a familiar fate?

Rock Paper Watch’s Top Quote of 3X9:

Jenn’s Pick – “The blood wine will flow red and the music will play loud and we’ll put this mess behind us.” ~ Walder Frey describing what will forever be known as the Red Wedding

Elizabeth’s Pick – “You’re very kind. Some day it will get you killed.”  -The Hound summing up all the Starks’ problems

Game of Thrones Recaps are authored by Jenn O’Mera (Lannister and Targaryen) and Elizabeth Bond (Stark and Baratheon).  Feel free to contact any author with feedback or questions.