It’s hard to imagine that True Blood has been a part of our lives for only the past seven years. It feels like a decade ago that we watched Sookie Stackhouse, a part-human part-fairy waitress from Bon Temps, Louisiana, meet her very first vampire. Lately, we can hardly even remember the days when Bill was thought of with giddy girl-crushing love and admiration. It’s difficult to even say his name anymore. (“Do you think Sookie will end up with Bilith? I mean, Bill…”)
For Jenn O’Mara and Ashley Foster, the final season of True Blood is bittersweet. They’ve been with the show for it all – through the good, the bad, and the ugly of seven seasons. They witnessed every True Death, every True Blood drink order, every Sookie Stackhouse sex scene, all of it. Saying good bye to the weirdos citizens of Bon Temps who manage to survive Season 7 isn’t going to be easy. So in order to get the most of the season, they’re hashing out every possible theory, question, and mystery that the season has to offer. Below is their Q&A discussion of their burning questions left after Sunday’s season premiere of True Blood.
1. Do we miss Tara already?
Ashley: Sorry, no. Pam was the only thing that made her interesting. Good-bye.
Jenn: Nope! I’ve always preferred Book Tara over TV Tara. TV Tara’s place on True Blood always felt forced and out of place. Her death, though mildly rushed and severely disappointing, started off the final season with the feeling that no one is safe, ever, even in the first 30 seconds of an episode! It really is the beginning of the end…
2. What/who drew away the crazed vamps from Merlotte’s?
Ashley: Sarah Newlin. Crazy I know…but let’s think about this for a second. She is a freaking can of crazy. She’s ALWAYS hated vampires and certainly despises the ground Jason Stackhouse walks on. Add that up and what’s stopping her from tearing him and his town apart? Think of it this way, she has the motive and if she can control the Hep V vamps, she certainly has the ammo. Who better to destroy a whole species along with her enemies than the one person we would never suspect? Sarah Newlin is a weed and she keeps coming back stronger in some weird way in every season. I mean, hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn.
Jenn: I think Ashley is onto something seriously intriguing with Sarah Newlin. If it is her, I bet Jason Stackhouse will really regret sparing her life. But what if it’s something even crazier, like a king or queen from another state poised to rock Louisiana for a gigantic takeover? Or it could be the Fae. The only thing vampires love more than our half-fairy heroine are full-blown fairies. The vamps have massacred their fair share of fairies and we’ve yet to see the show take on the book version of the Fae. This theory has some potential. But I still think it’s probably the Fellowship and Sarah.
3. Where the hell is Eric Northman?
A: I’d like to think he is waiting on me at home with a bubble bath and some champagne….but that’s just me. But in all seriousness, my imagination isn’t taking me anywhere on this one. I just feel like he’s actually dead, dead. It’s almost as if he’s had his moment in the sun (literally). But, then again, why would they be leading Pam on a rat race?
J: He’s alive, somewhere. (I only say this confidently because of season previews. Without the Internet, I’d still be crying over his death…) My King..I mean…Eric…probably buried himself in the snow when the fire started and is alive, laying majestically naked, somewhere near a body of water. Pam will find him soon, remind him he’s acting crazy and needs to be home, and bring him back to Bon Temps just in time to fight Bill for our girl, Sookie.
Side note – Just at the point I started realizing the episode felt empty without Eric, we cut to Pam. It’s as if the writers can feel it, too. I bet when they aren’t writing (and thinking) about Alexander and his naked bod every 10 minutes, they start to become sweaty and distracted. On a serious note – I hope there aren’t many more episodes without Eric Northman. He’s by far my favorite character (show and book) and this is the last season. I want all the Eric I can get.
4. Is Jessica going to kill all these fairies?
A: I think Jessica is going to take a note from her maker and protect Adelaide like Bill did with Sookie. Jessica is definitely the one character who has had a ton of growing pains since her characters introduction to the series and it seems like she’s one of the few who has learned from her mistakes. So definitely not, Jessica is a good girl all the way.
J: As much as I think Jessica shouldn’t in order to show that her character has indeed learned to become a civil and humane vampire (much quicker than any of the older vamps, I might add. Bill was a couple hundo years old for Pete’s sake), I kind of want her to for one reason – bad ass factor. One of the things I love most about True Blood is it’s intense gore, violence, and high number of ‘WTF EWMYGOSH’ moments. Jessica killing the only fairy that survived her the first time has potential to be freakin’ awesome.
5. Will Sookie really end up with Alcide?
A: I hope not. I mean, that’s like asking if Bella is going to end up with Jacob. #sorrynotsorry (Spoiler Alert!) I know Sookie ends up with Sam in the books, but honestly I’m Team Bill. It seems like the show is getting back to the basics in the first episode this season. I mean, hello, did you see those season one-esque glances Bill and Sookie were exchanging back and forth? Unfortunately, I don’t think Alcide will ever fully accept Sookie for her past and her faults. Bill has never had that issue….
J: Only when Lafayette ends up with Holly aka NEVER. Alcide is on his way out the door and I hope last night was the only episode where they are together. (Spoiler!) I also hope she doesn’t end up with Sam. I get how and why the book ended in that way. It worked for the books and for the story within the books. But this isn’t that story. Sookie and everything else about Bon Temps is different so please, please give us the fan-ending we’ve wanted since Season 1 Episode 1 before any of us even read the books.
Does anyone else feel like this episode came out of nowhere? Maybe if we had checked in with Mance Rayder more frequently the stakes would have felt a bit higher going into the episode. I guess what I’m getting at is that I wasn’t very excited for this episode. It didn’t feel necessary yet and I was still emotionally distraught over last week. But I think that was the whole point. The battle at Castle Black gave us a much needed hour-long break from all the drama at King’s Landing. It was an action-packed episode with beautiful, cinema-worthy visuals. Let’s dive in.
The episode starts with Jon Snow and Samwell Tarly enjoying a little bro time. Sam asks Jon what it’s like to have someone. He recognizes that they’re all probably going to die when the Wildlings attack and hearing it from Jon Snow may be the closest he ever gets to knowing. Snow is a little surprised that Sam would consider breaking his vows. Sam points out that the vows don’t say anything about the actual deed, just marriage and babies. Oh, Sam and his clever loopholes.
Jon Snow then fumbly delivers the best description of the birds and bees there has ever been, “It’s… there’s this person, this whole other person and you’re wrapped up in them and they’re wrapped up in you and for a little while you’re more than just you .You’re…I don’t know I’m not a bleeding poet.” Could have fooled me.
Meanwhile, the Wildlings are hanging nearby waiting for the signal. Tormund Giantsbane is talking about how he almost had sex with a bear once. I don’t really understand this whole conversation but what’s with all the sex talk?! Ygritte is over it. She’s ready to hunt some crows. This Wildling bros start to tease her about how they don’t think she can kill Jon Snow. In typical Ygritte “BAMF” fashion, she calls dibs. Jon Snow is her’s to kill.
More bro talk, Sam and Maester Aemon bond over their lost loves back at Castle Black. Maester Aemon reminds us that “love is the death of duty.”
Gilly and Sam reunite. She’s retreated from Molestown to Castle Black. Sam tells her, “wherever you go, I go too.” Their reunion is cut short though when the horn at Castle Black begins to sound. Sam hides Gilly away in the kitchen. She’s upset he’s leaving her, I mean he did just promise “wherever you go, I go too.” She’s worried that he’ll die in the battle, but Sam is a man of his word and he has to do his duty as a man of the Night’s Watch. Then HE KISSES HER! This battle is pretty much the best thing to ever happen to Sam.
Jon looks over the north side of the Wall and sees a massive fire burning; Lance Rayder’s signal. The Wildlings see it too. It’s time. The Night’s Watch frantically completes their preparation for battle.
Jon Snow approaches Ser Alliser Thorne amidst the chaos. “We should have sealed the tunnels while we had the chance, like you suggested,” Ser Alliser says. Then he explains, “You know what leadership means, Lord Snow? It means that the person in charge gets second guessed by every clever little twat with a mouth. What if he starts second guessing himself? That’s the end. For him. For the clever little twats. For everyone. This is not the end. Not for us.”
Sam finds Pyp and they try to settle in a safe-ish place. Sam calmly prepares their area, he seems ready to fight. Pyp is terrified and asks Sam how he can be so calm. He says he’s not and then explains that when he had to kill the Whitewalker he became nothing at all. “When you’re nothing at all there’s no more reason to be afraid,” he continues. He’s afraid now because “well, i’m not nothing anymore.” Aw, Samwell Tarly. God, please don’t die.
Ygritte scopes out Castle Black and explains that most of the men are at the top of the Wall, there is barely anyone below defending the gate. Here we go.
Mance’s army of Wildlings, wooly mammoths, and giants begin marching towards the Wall. When people ask why we didn’t get more dragons this season, blame the mammoths and the giants.
Ser Alliser orders the archers to nock and hold. Grenn accidently knocks an oil barrel off the Wall and the men of Night’s Watch carelessly draw their arrows. It’s the equivalent of watching Matt Saracen beam his teammate in the back of the head with a football during the Friday Night Lights pilot. This is not going to be good.
As arrows begin to fly, the Wildlings stand far enough away as if to tease the Night’s Watch. Ser Alliser is notified that they’re being attacked by both sides. Alliser leaves Janos Slynt in charge of the Wall so he can go down and fight. This means that Ygritte has arrived and boy, she is kicking ass.
But she’s not the only one, Ser Alliser Thorne shows us why he’s master-at-arms. He rouses the men and is fearless in battle. Ser Alliser has Tormund Giantsbane in his sights. They fight and I mean they really fight. Giantsbane cuts open Alliser’s stomach and Alliser is carried away to be treated, still screaming “HOLD THE F**KING GATE!”
Texts from RPW “Why is it everything I want to happen on this show never happens? I just wanted the dude from Castle Black to kill the red headed guy but instead he got sliced open.”
Chaos unfolds on the grounds of Castle Black. The fighting and brutality is everywhere. The Wildlings break into the dining area and some badass with a cleaver kills them off. Ygritte positions herself up high and takes out the men one by one. I really liked the lack of soundtrack during this scene, all we could just hear was Ygritte’s steady breathing. It made the whole scenario more dramatic.
Meanwhile, back at the Wall the mammoths and the giants start to make their way towards the gate. Janos Slynt is having a nervous breakdown. Thankfully, Grenn tricks him into thinking that Alliser needs him down below, leaving Jon Snow in charge.
Jon Snow takes the reigns. Snow proves himself to be a natural leader as he tells the men on the Wall to nock and hold, draw, and lose their arrows. I swear anytime someone yelled “LOOOOSEEE!” in this episode I got goosebumps.
Down below, the Wildlings start climbing the Wall. “They won’t summit before dawn,” Jon Snow tells them men. “How do you know that?” “Because I’ve made that climb.” “I think they’re in a bigger hurry than you were,” replies Edd. This may be far fetched but could Edd be a distant cousin of Bronn? Like, really think about it.
Janos Slynt decides to hide, what a wuss. He stumbles upon Gilly who knows exactly what he’s doing.
Pyp and Sam continue to fire on the Wildlings using a crossbow. As Pyp stands to shoot, he’s shot in the neck by Ygritte. It’s a gruesome, bloody way to go. Sam stays by his side to comfort him. Then Sam picks up the crossbow and springs to action. He shoots a Warg that is charging towards him like it’s no big deal. Sam gets Olly to send him up the Wall to get Jon Snow. They need more men fighting down below. On his way up, Sam yells “Find a weapon, Olly. Fight them!”
The giants and the wooly mammoth are now attempting to pull down the large gate at the base of the Wall. Jon Snow sends Grenn with five men to hold the gate while Edd and Jon Snow continue dislodging the oil barrels. They are able to scare away the wooly mammoth. As he runs after the animal, they shoot down one of the giants. Out of frustration and anger, the other giant lifts the gate by himself.
Sam tells Jon Snow the Castle won’t stand much longer without more men down below. Snow knows what he has to do “Edd, you have the Wall. If they try the mammoths again drop fire on them. If the climbers get too high drop the scythe on them.” Ooooh, what’s the scythe?
Edd, hands down, had the best delivery of “LOOOOOOOSE”
Grenn and co. get to the tunnel just in time to see the giant come under the gate. Gah, I love Grenn. Everyone is starting to panic and he stands firm, “we hold the gate.” Grenn leads his brothers in the Night’s Watch oath as the giant charges towards them.
As they arrive to the ground, Jon hands Sam a key “I need him more than I need you.” Jon Snow bounds out of the lift and starts kicking ass.
Texts from RPW “For the record, so many dirty things I’d do to Kit Harington”
THE SHOT, THE CONTINUOUS SHOT. OMGGGGGG! You saw it, right? There is a sweeping shot of the Castle Black grounds that shows the fighting and the chaos happening in every corner. It’s amazing. According to director Neil Marshall, the Game of Thrones cast rehearsed it for about an hour and got it in seven takes.
The shot ends with Sam unlocking Ghost’s room and saying, “we need you boy.” Ghost immediately springs into action and starts taking down Wildlings one by one. It should be noted that my own little direwolf (just kidding, he’s a rat terrier), Dexter, woke up from his seventeenth nap just in time to see Ghost do his thing. He just looked at me like he he suddenly realized that he would never be that cool. It’s okay Dex, no dog will.
Jon Snow starts fighting with Styr, the lead Thenn. It’s one of those fight scenes that has your stomach in knots. After taking some serious hits, Jon is able to brutally kill him with a hammer. While this is happening, Ygritte sees Jon Snow and it is on.
As he stumbles away, there is Ygritte. She has her bow and arrow drawn, she’s ready to kill Jon Snow. But she hesitates, “love is the death of duty” afterall. Jon Snow smiles because of course she can’t kill him, she loves him. Then Olly shoots an arrow through her heart. It all comes full circle. She killed his father. He kills her. Ygritte dies in Snow’s arms saying, “Do you remember the cave? We should have stayed in the cave.” He assures her, “We’ll go back there.” Her last words are, “You know nothing, Jon Snow.” As she dies, it is beautiful. He is cradling her amidst all the madness. The Game of Thrones team uses slow motion to really paint the heartbreaking picture, it’s the second time they’ve ever used it. The first was when Tywin Lannister showed up at the Battle of Blackwater.
Back on the Wall, the Wildlings are still climbing. Edd finally commands “DROP THE SCYTHE BOYS!” Then what appears to be a huge anchor comes out of the Wall and sweeps the Wildlings away. Damn, that was cool.
“They’ve had enough for one night,” declares Edd. Victory! But not quite, the Night’s Watch knows they are still outnumbered. It’s just a matter of time before the Wildlings strike again.
Speaking of Wildlings, who’s left standing? Tormund Giantsbane, of course. Jon Snow shoots him with one last arrow for good measure before he’s carried away as a prisoner. “I should have thrown you from the top of the Wall, boy,” yells Giantsbane. “Aye, you should have,” replies Jon Snow.
Sam comes back for Gilly. He also finds Slynt. Shame, shame, shame.
Sam and Jon discuss the victory and the inevitable return of the Wildling army. The Night’s Watch could probably hold them off for a day or two but will never beat them. Jon decides he’s going to go north of the Wall to kill Mance. Without Mance Rayder the Wildling army will disperse.
Sam is worried about Jon. That they are going to torture him, but they both know there’s no other option. As they walk through the tunnel, they find that Grenn and his men died killing the giant. Jon tells Sam to have their bodies burned. Jon gives his sword, Longclaw, to Sam before departing the tunnel. They have a sweet little moment in the tunnel, this really is the best bromance ever.
Next week is the season four finale and judging by the preview we will be checking in with Bran and Arya. We will also catch up with the Lannisters and Jon Snow will find Mance Rayder. What will happen? And look, dragons!
They’re baaaaaaack! Two decades after the dimwitted duo invited us along their original adventure in 1994’s Dumb and Dumber, the characters are returning to the big screen in 2014’s Dumb and Dumber To. In the sequel, they search for Harry’s long lost daughter in hopes of getting a kidney transplant. Not much has changed by the looks of the trailer. Harry and Lloyd are still as dumb as ever. Dumb and Dumber To hits theaters November 14.
Fury
It’s April, 1945. The war is almost over. Fury gives us a closer look into the lives of the five-man crew of a Sherman tank in World War II. The men are on a deadly mission behind enemy lines and the movie follows their attempts to strike at Nazi Germany. The all star cast includes Brad Pitt, Michael Peña, Shia LaBeouf, and Logan Lerman. Fury also hits theaters November 14.
What are you doing?! Stop reading this right now and go watch Orange is the New Black. Live on Netflix as of this morning, it’s finally time to catch up with our favorite felons. Last summer, OITNB came out of nowhere and quickly became the show that everyone was talking about. At the end of season one, we finally saw Piper grow a backbone and takedown Pennsatucky. But wait, there’s a difference between taking someone down and brutally attacking them. How far did Piper go? Did she kill Pennastucky? And what does this mean for her prison sentence? Like I said, what are you doing?! Stop reading this right now and go watch Orange is the New Black so we can find out! Happy watching!
Sunday’s episode of Game of Thrones, “The Mountain and the Viper,” could have easily been the penultimate episode of the season. But alas, we were treated to a jaw-dropping eighth episode that had more ‘OHMYGOD’ moments than I could count. In honor of the Seven Kingdoms and the Seven New Gods, here are my top seven favorite ‘DID THAT JUST HAPPEN?!’ moments from Sunday’s action-packed episode.
7. Reek becomes Theon Greyjoy (again) and helps Ramsay Snow become Ramsay Bolton.
Everyone’s least favorite character, Ramsay Snow, finally got what he wanted and became Ramsay Bolton, thanks to his pet dog human, Reek. Reek pretended to be his former self, Theon Greyjoy, and coaxed the Iron Islanders holding Moat Cailin into opening up their doors to earn “freedom” from the Northerners. Instead, much to our dismay, they were flayed and killed by the Boltons and the creepy duo of Ramsay and Reek just became much more powerful (and much more disturbing). Pleased with his bastard, Roose Bolton granted Ramsay his biggest wish and gave him the family last name and all that comes with it.
6. Ygritte shows mercy for Gilly and Baby Sam.
I don’t know about you, but Ygritte is the worst scorned woman I’ve ever seen. She’s taken to killing innocent men, women, and children of the North to get back at her former lover, Jon Snow. So when she came face to face with Gilly, and showed her mercy, I literally cried and clapped at the same time. I knew that the Ygritte that Jon (and the audience) fell in love with in Season 3 was still in there somewhere. Now I wonder, will Ygritte show Jon the same mercy if she comes face to face with him in the Battle of Castle Black? Tune in next week to find out.
5. Arya finds out everyone in her family is dead and laughs it off, hysterically.
When Arya and The Hound learned that Lysa Arryn had died just three days before their arrival, and The Hound was stripped of yet another bounty, what else was Arya to do but laugh? It almost felt like she was laughing at the viewers for thinking a Stark reunion was going to happen. Haven’t we learned by now that the Starks will never run into each other no matter how close they get?
4. Sansa becomes Dark Sansa & lies and dyes for Petyr Baelish.
When Petyr was questioned about the mysterious “suicide” of Lysa Arryn, Sansa was called in to witness. As she stood giving her testimony, Petyr watched on silently and in awe. Here stood this young, naïve girl, whom he once told was a terrible liar, spinning a brilliant and intricate web of truth and lies. Sansa painted a picture of Petyr as a saint who was motivated by his burning desire to rescue Sansa. Later, in an attempt to cover her famous Tully-red hair, Sansa steps out as Dark Sansa, with dyed dark locks to help her look more like her “uncle” Petyr. The weird thing? She almost appears to be flirting with Baelish. It is clear that Sansa doesn’t know the extent of Petyr’s hand in the destruction of her family, but she knows he is dangerous. Has she fallen under his twisted spell or is Sansa playing a long con?
3. Tywin sentences Tyrion to death.
The moment we’ve all been waiting for – the verdict from the Trial by Combat. As you’ll find out in our top moment, Tyrion Lannister lost the trial in the most head-splitting way. In the final moments of the episode, Tywin Lannister, Hand of the King and father of Tyrion, stands and sentences his son to death. Dun dun dunnnn.
2. Dany permanently dismisses Jorah Mormont.
Tywin was a part of more than one verdict this week. In a twist from the book storyline, Tywin Lannister sent Daenerys’ Queen’s Guard, Barristan Selmy, a letter, which was a copy of the Royal Pardon that was granted to Jorah Mormont in Season 1. (Remember, Jorah was leaking confidential secrets to Robert and his Council and assisted with an assassination attempt on Dany’s life). Despite his deep admiration and love for Dany, and his change of loyalty (he ultimately prevented the assassination), the Mother of Dragons showed no mercy and exiled Jorah from her Council and from Meereen. Poor Jorah. The old bear looked heartbroken as he rode on horse-back out of the city. While I normally stand 100% behind the Breaker of Chains, I had trouble supporting this decision because of the way the TV show played it out. It comes off like Dany is another puppet being manipulated at the hands of Tywin Lannister. Is this the beginning of her downfall?
1. Oberyn’s Headsplosion.
Thank you to Game of Thrones for creating yet another scene that I couldn’t bear to watch – the epic trial by combat between the Mountain and the Red Viper of Dorne, Oberyn Martell. (Who knew anything could be worse than the Red Wedding?)
Oberyn, who was fighting as Tyrion’s champion to gain revenge for his sister, bopped around like Inigo Montoya waving a spear. The Rep Viper repeated over and over again, “Elia Martell of Dorne. You raped her, you murdered her. You killed her children,” as he fought and stabbed the Mountain. Oberyn was quick with his spear and took down the Mountain with apparent ease. But he was too cocky and too confident and wouldn’t kill Gregor Clegane until he got his confession. Before Oberyn could realize what was happening, Clegane punched Oberyn’s teeth out of his face. The Mountain then climbed on top of The Viper, held his head in between his gigantic hands, and squashed it like one of the beetles Tyrion’s cousin squashed, all while confessing to his heinous crimes. The worst part of this entire scene was knowing Oberyn was warned to wear a helmet and his Paramour stood completely helpless as she watched the worst moment of Game of Thrones – Oberyn’s Headsplosion.
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