It’s the most wonderful time of the year: upfronts. This is like my draft day. It’s like Christmas. This is the week that all major networks release their fall line-ups; new trailers, new faces, and new schedules. After keeping a watchful eye on all the updates, I’m ready to tell you my favorites. Here are the shows I’m most excited about starting this fall.
Grandfathered, FOX
I laughed out loud. I gushed. I had goosebumps. And that was only from the trailer. John Stamos portrays Jimmy, a lifetime bachelor whose life is upended when he discovers he’s a father—and a grandfather. Josh Peck portrays his hopeless, mess of a son. Paget Brewster is his ex-girlfriend.
Reasons to watch: The chemistry between the actors seems to be perfect. John Stomas and Paget Brewster are natural together.
Cast: John Stamos, Josh Peck, Paget Brewster, Christina Milian, Kelly Jenrette, Ravi Patel
Scream Queens, FOX
If you combine Glee, American Horror Story, and Emma Roberts’ resting bitch face (all of my favorite things) you get Scream Queens. The plot hasn’t been fully explained yet and I think that’s why I like it. There’s a little bit of mystery. We know that it’s set on a college campus, there have been a series of murders, and it’s a comedy. I’m intrigued. And I’m not alone judging by the straight to series order.
Reasons to watch: That cast.
Cast: Jamie Lee Curtis, Emma Roberts, Oliver Hudson, Lea Michele, Abigail Breslin, Keke Palmer, Nick Jonas, Ariana Grande, Billie Lourd, Skyler Samuels, Lucien Laviscount, Niecy Nash, Diego Boneta, Glen Powell, Nasim Pedrad
Flesh and Bone, STARZ
This was the first trailer I watched that made me actually giddy with new television excitement. Can we just call it what it is? Center Stage: The Gritty Sequel. I mean, it even has Charlie from Center Stage. CHARLIE! And let’s be real. Center Stage is the BEST movie. It’s that go to movie that you watch to reminisce about how easy it was to be a teen in the early 2000s. I fondly remember days where it played on HBO after school while I pretended to do pirouettes in the kitchen before my parents got home from work.
Anyway, Flesh and Bone follows Claire, a young dancer with a distinctly troubled past as she enters into the American Ballet Company in New York. The eight-hour series has been described as gritty and complex as it navigates Claire’s self-destructive tendencies.
Reasons to watch: Hellooooooooo! Charlie (Sascha Radetsky) is back!
Cast: Sarah Hay as Claire. The cast includes 22 accomplished ballet dancers including former American Ballet Theatre principal dancer Irina Dvorovenko (Kiira), former American Ballet Theatre soloist Sascha Radetsky (Ross), Ballet Arizona company dancer Raychel Diane Weiner (Daphne) and Boardwalk Empire’s Emily Tyra (Mia). Ethan Stiefel, former artistic director of the Royal New Zealand Ballet and a former American Ballet Theatre principal dancer, served as consultant and choreographer. Other cast members include Josh Helman (X-Men: Days of Future Past), Damon Herriman (Justified), Tina Benko (The Good Wife), Ben Daniels (House Of Cards) and Tovah Feldshuh (The Walking Dead).
The Family, ABC
I could not look away while watching this trailer. Joan Allen plays a local politician whose son (TheWay, Way Back’s Liam James) returns after being presumed dead following his disappearance a decade earlier. His return has a ripple effect on the rest of his family. And in probably the most interesting twist, is he who he really says he is?
Reasons to watch: The cast. In addition to Joan Allen and Liam James, Andrew McCarthy portrays the wrongly accused neighbor who has been rotting in prison. Zach Gilford (I’ll always love you Saracen!) is the alcoholic, eldest son. Alison Pill is the tightly wound daughter managing her mother’s campaign. That’s a pretty strong list of talent.
Rob Lowe stars as a beloved TV lawyer known as “The Grinder.” When his long-running hit series comes to an end he decides to return home and join his family’s real-life law firm—despite having no formal education, no bar certification, no license to practice and no experience in an actual courtroom. Fred Savage plays his hopeless brother.
Reasons to watch: Rob Lowe and his ability to deliver fantastic, ‘knock em outta the park’ speeches.
Cast: Rob Lowe, Fred Savage, Mary Elizabeth Ellis, Natalie Morales, William Devane, Hana Hayes, Connor Kalopsis
Wicked City, ABC
It was really only a matter of time before the True Detective format made it’s way to cable. Each season, Wicked City will follow a different case set in an infamous era of L.A.’s history. For it’s debut, Wicked City is focusing on the Sunset Strip circa 1982. However, it seems this show will focus more on the criminals than the detectives as Erika Christensen’s and Ed Westwick’s Bonnie & Clyde-esque characters take center stage. I’m pretty sure Ed Westwick was destined to stab people in the back of the head.
Reasons to watch: It’ll be a character-driven, true-crime procedural that explores sex and pop culture in L.A. Need I say more?
Cast: Taissa Farmiga, Erika Christensen, Ed Westwick, Darrell Britt-Gibson, Karolina Wydra, Adam Rothenberg, Holley Fain, Anne Winters, Gabriel Luna
Supergirl, CBS
I dunno. I’m not totally sold on this. Even though I’m an avid comic book fan and movie buff, I’ve never been too excited about a comic book as a television series. I’ve passed on The Flash, Arrow, and The Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. but I’m not uninterested in Supergirl. Melissa Benoist plays Superman’s famous cousin who decides to embrace her superhuman abilities and be the hero she was destined to be. Jimmy Olsen makes an appearance, Jeremy Jordan is her trusty sidekick, and Calista Flockhart is her nasty boss.
Reasons to watch: Girl power?
Cast: Melissa Benoist, Mehcad Brooks, Calista Flockhart, Chyler Leigh, David Harewood, Laura Benanti, Dean Cain, Helen Slater, Jeremy Jordan, Malina Weissman
Blindspot, NBC
A woman (Jaimie Alexander) with no memories of her past is found naked in Times Square with her body fully covered in intricate tattoos. Why? What happened? Who is she? And we’re off…
Reasons to watch: If you like developing theories, pouring over recaps, and searching for clues then this show is for you.
Here we are, inside the House of Black and White. It’s damp and a bit spooky with a lot of statues along the walls. Arya is grumpily sweeping as Jaqen sits with a man by the pool of water in the middle of the floor. He gives the man a cup of water and they exchange “Valar morghulis. Valar dohaeris.” The man then drops dead; all men must die and these people are no joke.
Arya is over the sweeping. That’s not what she’s here for; she wants to serve. She’s got a kill list! Come on let’s get going! What must she do to become a Faceless Man? The answer? She must become no one.
Later, Arya is confronted by another girl that’s in training at the House of Black and White. “Who are you? You, who walk in here with a coin you never earned, whose value you don’t respect. Who are you?” Arya, ever the quick learner, replies “no one.” The girl whips Arya. With every objection, the girl continues to whip her. “Who are you?” the girl asks again. “You’re about to find out!” says Arya as she reaches for Needle and I applaud my television but Jaqen enters before it can escalate into an all out catfight. Jaqen scolds Arya for wanting to become “no one” while she is still holding on tightly to all of her personal belongings. Time for a makeover!
After her first costume change since season 1, Arya throws her personal items into the Narrow Sea. The last thing is Needle. Can she do it? Images of Jon Snow and a happy Stark family at Winterfell flash through my mind. Don’t do it, Arya! Whew! She doesn’t do it. Instead, she hides Needle in some rocks and continues sweeping.
Jaqen shows up and leads Arya down a scary staircase to a room with the latest body and the bully-girl that was whipping Arya. Together, Arya and the girl undress the body and begin to clean it. “What do we do after we wash them?” she asks. No answer.
Speaking of Winterfell, we’re baaaaack! It’s now decorated with House Bolton flags, some gross looking bodies, and there’s poor Theon. Back to the bodies, they’re victims of Ramsay of course. He went out collecting taxes but decided to flay and collect bodies instead. When Lord Cerwyn refused to pay anyone but a Stark, Ramsay calmly explained that he “flayed him living along with his wife and brother, made his son watch. The new Lord Cerwyn paid his taxes.”
Roose Bolton is nervous. Not only is his son a psychopath but also he doesn’t have enough men to hold the North. Yes, he made a pact with the Lannisters but that pact was with Tywin, who is now deceased. The remaining Lannisters won’t send someone this far north. Roose explains to Ramsay, “We’ve become a great house by forming alliances with other Houses and parlaying those alliances into greater power. The best way to forge a lasting alliance isn’t by peeling a man’s skin off. The best way is marriage. It’s high time you married a suitable bride. And as it happens, I’ve found the perfect girl to solidify our hold on the North.” It’s then that my stomach sinks. It makes perfect sense. It’s Sansa.
Side note: I loved watching Theon eavesdrop during this scene. There’s still a small part of Theon left in there. He still understands the game being played. The subtleties by Alfie Allen make that crystal clear. I hope Theon rises up and protects Sansa.
Sansa and Littlefinger arrive at Moat Cailin. That’s when Littlefinger reveals his plan. He’s taking Sansa “home” to Winterfell and he’s made a marriage proposal for Sansa, not for himself. She objects, naturally. Roose Bolton murdered Catelyn and Robb. Littlefinger gives her the pep talk he’s probably been preparing since the Red Wedding:
“Winterfell is your home. Always. You’re a Stark. Dying your hair doesn’t change that. You’re Sansa Stark, eldest surviving child of Ned and Catelyn Stark. Your place is in the North. You’ve been running all your life. Terrible things happen to your family and you weep. You sit alone in a darkened room mourning their fates. You’ve been a bystander to tragedy from the day they executed your father. Stop being a bystander. Stop running. There’s no justice in the world. Not unless we make it. You loved your family. Avenge them.”
So that’s it, Sansa escapes one psychopath only to marry another. She will wed Ramsay Bolton and hopefully avenge her family by murdering him in his sleep. Fingers crossed.
Now this is the biggest deviation from the books to date. It changes everything. At first I found it strange, shocking even. Sansa would never marry the man responsible for killing her family. Then I warmed up to it.
First, it brings a Stark back to Winterfell—Winterfell is the closest thing us viewers have to “home” and seeing a Stark there just makes things feel a bit better. I’m sure the warm and fuzzies won’t last. Surely Ramsay has wreaked all kinds of havoc on our beloved home but let’s just live in this happy place and remember simpler times for a few minutes longer. As the servant said, “Welcome home Lady Stark. The North remembers.”
Second, it gives Sansa a mission. Why should Arya be the only Stark girl out for vengeance? Poor, naïve Sansa with her lemon cakes is no more! She’s grown. She’s evolved. She is pursuing vengeance in her own way. We have to remember that Sansa was bred to be married. She was told from a young age that she would be a princess and that she would marry for power. She now is simply using the tools she has available to avenge her family.
Third, it gives Sophie Turner something to do. The actress has been severely underused. Her character has been pretty one-dimensional from the start so I like this change. If the actress can handle it, I say let’s see it. And judging from soundbites in December, it seems like we will. “There was one scene that I did do which was super, super traumatic, and I love doing those scenes,” Turner said. “It was just really kind of horrible for everyone to be on set and watch.”
When Sansa arrives to Winterfell and meets Roose Bolton for the first time I just knew she was going to slap him. Instead, she smiles and curtseys. Ramsay and Sansa meet. Each is falsely charming. Myranda (Ramsay’s like-minded, torture friendly girlfriend) angrily watches from afar. Later, Ramsay and Littlefinger watch Sansa cross the courtyard. “She really is lovely, I hope I can make her happy…I’ll never hurt her. You have my word,” says Ramsay. Ha, yea right. Littlefinger remarks that he hasn’t heard much about the young Lord Bolton. Ramsay clarifies that he is actually Roose Bolton’s bastard. Can we just pause for a second and take a look at Littlefinger’s face:
Things running through Littlefinger’s mind at this very moment
Sh*t. Sh*t. Sh*t. Sh*t. Sh*t. Sh*t.
Is it too late to change my mind?
Thiiiiiiiis is the bastard?
Joffrey>Ramsay
What did I get my precious Sansa into?
Can I request a do over?
Wait, isn’t she technically still married to Tyrion?
I’m definitely going to hell now.
I hope he lets me keep my little finger.
Moving on, when Roose arrives Littlefinger assures him that Sansa is still a virgin. They discuss their histories with the Lannisters. “The Lannister name doesn’t mean what it used to.” Littlefinger explains to Roose that every ambitious move is a gamble and “the last time the lords of the Eryie formed an alliance with the lords of the North they brought down the greatest dynasty this world has ever known.” This union has potential.
Nearby, Brienne and Podrick are following Sansa and Littlefinger. I’ve never been so happy to see Brienne in my life. Surely, she will act as Sansa’s guardian angel in this wreck of a situation.
Brienne and Podrick have what has to be their first ever real conversation. She knows she hasn’t been very kind, but he tells her, “You’re the best fighter I’ve ever seen. You beat the Hound. I’m proud to be your squire.” With that, you can see Brienne perk up. Maybe Podrick isn’t so bad after all? She decides to train him. She will teach him how to fight and properly ride a horse.
Brienne then talks about her service to Renly and how their friendship came to be. Her father once held a ball so she could find a good match. It was wonderful. No one noticed how tall she was. They all whispered sweet nothings into her ear. She was so happy. Eventually she realized the boys were toying with her. She tried to run away but Renly Baratheon stopped her and said, “Don’t let them see your tears. They’re nasty little sh*ts and nasty little sh*ts aren’t worth crying over.” He danced with her all night and no one bothered her after that. “He saved me from being a joke, from that day until his last day. I couldn’t save him.”
Then we learn Brienne’s plan for vengeance; she’s going after Stannis.
Heading over to The Wall, Jon Snow is hard at work as the new Lord Commander. He’s everything we thought he would be: kind, patient, stern, loyal.
During a meeting with Stannis Baratheon, he refuses the opportunity to become Jon Stark. His place is on The Wall. “You’re as stubborn as you’re father and as honorable,” Stannis tells him. Jon Snow wants to know how much longer they’re going to be crashing at Castle Black. Stannis is basically that drunken friend that passes out on your couch and eats all your frozen dinners before dawn. Castle Black is running out of food and winter is coming. Stannis says he plans to march on Winterfell within the fortnight.
But, what to do with the Wildlings? Will Tormund compromise? Stannis thinks that Jon Snow should execute them. The other Brothers don’t want the free folk around. And what to do with Ser Alliser Thorne? Dismissing Stannis’ advice, Jon Snow says he intends to keep his enemies close.
After Stannis exits Davos says to Jon Snow, “he sees something in you. Might not be apparent from his tone but it’s the truth. He believes in you.” Stannis only wants to do what’s right for the Seven Kingdoms and he thinks he needs Jon Snow to do that. Davos reminds Snow of the line within the Night’s Watch oath—the shield that guards the realms of men. “That’s what you swore to be. Maybe people need you outside of The Wall. As long as the Boltons rule, the North will suffer.” I wonder how this is going to play out with Sansa? Could Jon Snow potentially rescue the North and Sansa?
Later, Jon Snow appoints Ser Alliser Thorne as First Ranger. He decides to send Lord Janos Slynt to Greyguard, which is apparently a ruin. Slynt does not want any part of that dump. Snow tells him “that was a command, not an offer.” Slynt refuses, repeatedly.
Slynt’s refusal is punishable by death. Snow cannot start his reign as Lord Commander by being soft so he has Slynt hauled to the courtyard for execution. If there’s one thing that Jon Snow has learned, it is how to properly behead someone when it’s needed. He marches to the podium.
“If you have any last words my Lord, now’s the time.” Slynt begs for forgiveness. He declares Jon Snow the true Lord Commander. “I’m afraid. I’ve always been afraid.” The Night’s Watch is not a place for scared men, not with winter coming. With that, Snow chops off his head. Stannis nods approvingly.
House Lannister
We check in at King’s Landing with a little Tour de Cersei Lannister. Under the sound of ringing bells, Cersei is carried in her litter toward the Great Sept of Baelor to celebrate the wedding of King Tommen and Queen Margaery. The street is lined with people from the Capitol adoringly shouting the name of the new Queen. Cersei is seething as she realizes that Margaery has succeeded in winning over the people of the city.
Margaery exchanges yet another set of wedding vows (third time’s the charm, right?) and finally becomes THE Queen that she always wanted to be. I loved how in this scene, we see Cersei through the silhouettes of the new couple as they exchange their first kiss. It’s evident that this wedding is the last thing Cersei ever wanted to happen. Boy, no one can deliver a scowl quite like Lena Headey.
After the wedding, we cut immediately to Margaery and Tommen consummating the marriage. Margaery knew better this time and didn’t spend any time waiting. When they finish, the new King is practically squealing with pleasure and expresses concern for hurting Margaery. Oh sweet innocent Tommen. You didn’t hurt her. Is he really so different from his cruel brother, Joffrey? I hope so for Margaery’s sake.
Speaking of the late King Joffrey, Tommen confides in Margaery that he often thinks about how everything he has – a new, beautiful Queen and the title of King – is only his because his brother is dead. Margaery tells him that he shouldn’t feel guilty about that but Tommen insists that he feels no guilt. Maybe he isn’t so different from Joffrey at all. Margaery starts to carefully sink her claws into the Boy King. Instead of revealing her true feelings toward Cersei, she feigns admiration of the Queen Mother’s motherly affections. She tells Tommen that it is so wonderful how Cersei is always looking after him like “a lioness guarding her cub.” Tommen insists that he no longer needs his mother looking after him because he is officially a man. But Margaery reminds him that as long as Cersei is in King’s Landing, Tommen will always be her baby boy.
The next scene takes us immediately to Cersei and Tommen strolling through the Capitol arm-in-arm. The two discuss the new Queen and the new marriage and then Tommen reveals that the seeds of doubt planted by Margaery have successfully taken root. Tommen suggests that Cersei leave King’s Landing to return home to Casterly Rock where she can finally be happy. Tommen probably does want his mother to be happy but these words are not his and Cersei knows exactly where they are coming from.
She heads right to the source and visits Margaery and the ladies of the court. This is my favorite Margaery vs. Cersei scene to date. Cersei enters the room as Margaery recounts the four different times that her and Tommen consummated the marriage. When Margaery spots Cersei, she jumps from her chair and greets Cersei with a hug and an exclamation of “Mother!” Now that Margaery is Queen, she is fearless, almost careless, wasting no time to take jabs at Cersei. “I wish I had some wine for you, it’s a bit early in the day for us.” Cersei dismisses the comment, though she does appear to be a bit shocked, and claims that the reason for her visit is just to make sure that her new daughter-in-law knows that she is always there for her. Margaery expresses gratitude and reveals to the Queen Mother that she may soon be a Queen Grandmother, since she is so exhausted from Tommen’s “enthusiasm.” Cersei doesn’t linger and as she excuses herself, Margaery throws one last jab. “What’s the proper way to address you now? Queen Mother or Dowager Queen?”
Cersei maintains her cool, insists such formality is not required, and marches out of the gardens. The laughter of the girls rings through her head as she’s leaving. She may have been calm and level-headed in that moment, but we know Cersei will not go down without a fight. Margaery better watch her back (and her drinks!).
Back in Baelish’s brothel, we find the creep-tastic High Septon selecting from amongst the Seven Whore Gods. The Septon’s fun is interrupted by the Sparrows, led by Cersei’s favorite Lannister cousin Lancel, who are there to reprimand the Septon for his promiscuous behavior. As punishment, they force him to walk through the streets naked, flogging him whenever he attempts to cover himself, while the crowds hiss “sinner, sinner.”
The re-clothed Septon marches directly to the King’s Council and asks Cersei to throw the head of the Sparrows, the High Sparrow, in the black cells as punishment for the assault against him. Pycelle spoke up in his defense, but that doesn’t surprise me. (We remember you, Ros!) The wheels in Cersei’s head are spinning…but why?
Despite warnings from her King’s Guard, Cersei weaves her way through the poor in Flee Bottom (I’m guessing) to find the High Sparrow, a shoeless man feeding soup to the poor. The High Sparrow (hey you, Governor Swann) and Cersei discuss his choice of nickname, which he finds humorous, and his decision to give away his shoes, which he made to remind himself who he really is. The High Sparrow then reveals that he knows why Cersei has visited – to arrest him for what he did to the High Septon. Cersei reveals that the High Septon actually requested for the High Sparrow to be executed but rather than doing that, she has thrown the Septon into the Red Keep. “The faith and the crown are the two pillars that hold up this world. One collapses, so does the other. We must do everything necessary to protect one another.” Oh really? Since when has Cersei become so religious?
After her visit with the Sparrow, Cersei heads to see the mad scientist/healer Qyburn and asks him to send an urgent message to Petyr Baelish “wherever he’s slithering about.” She also asks Qyburn how his project is coming along and tells him to keep at it. After she leaves, we see what we thought was an inanimate body on a table come to life under a blanket! What is under there, Qyburn? Is it a Franken-Mountain of sorts?! Whatever it is, Cersei knows and I don’t have a good feeling about it.
We catch up with our favorite Lannister, Tyrion, as he starts to lose his mind on the road to Meereen. Tyrion insists that he is sick of seeing Varys’ face and he needs to get out of the cart for a bit before he goes crazy. Lord Varys warns him that there is a price on Tyrion’s head and if he’s recognized, it’s all over. Tyrion insists he’s just one more drunk dwarf and the two step out in Volantis. Reminder – Volantis was the home of the late Robb Stark’s wife (RIP, the North Remembers) and through re-tellings of her childhood, Talisa revealed Volantis to be a major slave city.
We find Varys and Tyrion walking through a gigantic, organized slave market. We learn that the slaves are marked by tattoos on their faces as to be easily recognized. But word of slave revolutions from Slaver’s Bay have made their way to Volantis and the slaves are not happy. Tyrion and Varys stumble upon a Red Preacher of the Lord of Light surrounded by a chanting crowd. The preacher is talking about slavery and claims that the Red King hears their misery and has sent them a new savior. “From the fire she was reborn to remake the world; the Dragon Queen!” Tyrion mocks the speech and jokes about how they are on their way to the savior. The Red Preacher hears him and a dark, foreboding look is exchanged between her and Tyrion.
Tyrion and Varys head to a brothel and we learn that the influence of the Dragon Queen has reached even the most desperate of places. A prostitute walks around dressed in an ass-less Dany get up, hair and all. Tyrion and Varys sit in a darkened corner and don’t realize that there is another Game of Thrones character/Dany lover in their presence.
Tyrion leaves Varys to talk to “someone with hair” and finds a bitter brunette prostitute. “They all want to f*ck a queen,” she says as she glares at the Dany imitation. She knows Tyrion has no money but the two share a connection and she offers him pity sex. To everyone’s surprise, including Tyrion’s, he rejects! “I’m sorry, I can’t.” She reassures him that she can and coaxes him to join her but he insists it’s something he cannot do. “Believe me, no one is more shocked than I am. I hope it passes!”
Defeated, Tyrion leaves and goes to piss into the sea. He hears someone walk up behind him and thinks its Varys. Alas, it is not! It is Ser Jorah Mormont, who we spotted earlier in the crowd. Jorah seizes and gags Lord Tyrion. “I’m taking you to the Queen,” he says as he carts off Tyrion on his shoulder. We’re left to wonder the question of the hour….WHICH QUEEN?! I would bet all of the Lannister gold that it is none other than the love of his life, Daenerys Targaryen.
Side Note – Tyrion made an off-handed comment while listening to the Red Preacher about the disease, greyscale. We also heard Stannis’ daughter, Shireen Baratheon, discuss the illness from which she suffers with Gilly in last week’s episode. Something tells me that this is no coincidence but foreshadowing and we can expect a major character to go down from the illness before all is said and done.
Rock Paper Watch’s Top Quote of 5×3:
Jenn’s Pick – “It’s a perfectly good face.” – Varys in response to Tyrion’s angst against only seeing him for days on end.
Elizabeth’s Pick – “Stop being a bystander. Stop running. There’s no justice in the world. Not unless we make it. You loved your family. Avenge them.”
Game of Thrones Recaps are authored by Jenn O’Mera (Lannister and Targaryen) and Elizabeth Bond (Stark/Baratheon and Martell). Feel free to contact any author with feedback or questions.
Is Superman a hero or a villain? Better question, is Batman a hero or a villain? These seem to be the main questions in the leaked ‘Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice’ trailer. Well, that and “Tell me, do you bleed,” asks Ben Affleck in his best Batman voice, before following up with the words, “You will.”
The trailer is driven by voice-overs from Holly Hunter, Jesse Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor and Jeremy Irons’ Alfred Pennyworth. They all seem to be questioning Superman’s motivations and his morality. Check out the trailer here.
Before diving in, let’s start with the fancy updated intro. Winterfell is no longer on fire and we have a new addition, Pentos! We later find out this is where Tyrion has landed.
House Targaryen
The first Daenerys Stormborn moment of the season opens with the golden statue that sat atop the slave city of Meereen toppling down over the city. Is this a symbol for the season to come? Is Dany’s army beginning to fall?
This episode certainly doesn’t help my theory. After the statue is successfully down, an Unsullied heads into town to visit a brothel. Strange, I thought. Why would he go there? Apparently, he had visited this brothel before and has a regular request of the women there. He lays down topless while a topless woman lays behind him and rubs his head. He seemed so relaxed and innocent until…his throat is suddenly slit. The women and the killer, a man in a golden V for Vendetta mask, stand above the body and watch as he bleeds out.
The mask is left on the body of the Unsullied for Dany to discover and it apparently represents the Sons of the Harpys, a group that is bad news bears for #TeamDany. It turns out that Dany is not being heralded in the slave cities as a liberator but as a conqueror and citizens are rebelling against her and her Unsullied. Dany tells Barristan Selmy and the rest of her Jorah-free Queen’s Guard to hold the burial of the murdered Unsullied, White Rat, in a temple – an action meant to anger those who are rebelling.
After this is decided, Missandei and Grey Worm chat in private per Missandei’s request. She asks why White Rat and many other Unsullied are being spotted visiting brothels considering all Unsullied are also eunuchs. Grey Worm does not know and leaves without providing any more insight.
Dany continues to deal with the politics associated with liberating the free cities. Her ambassador from Yunkai returns with Daario Naharis and says the deal to establish a council of elders was agreed upon. However, the former masters have a request – they want to reopen the fighting pits. Rather than slaves fighting to the death, they suggest that free men be allowed to fight free men. He argues that Dany making this decision would send the message that she respects their pre-established culture and traditions but Dany refuses.
Later, in the boudoir, Daario Naharis attempts to convince Dany that she should indeed reopen the pits. Daario explains how he rose through the pits as a champion, which gave him resources to help his mother and lead him to become the man he is today. He tells Dany he isn’t afraid to speak the truth to her and warns her that a sign of weakness will give her enemies the chance they need, therefore it’s imperative for her to show her strength now. Dany points out that the Unsullied are patrolling the streets but she misinterpreted Daario. “You’re not the mother of Unsullied. You’re the Mother of Dragons. A Dragon Queen with no dragons? That’s not a Queen.” You go, Daario.
Finally, Dany braves the underground cage she created and enters the dragon lair. At first, the room is silent and Dany cautiously calls out the dragons’ names. Suddenly, fire erupts and the dragons are enraged, thrashing and spewing fire at their mother. They don’t seem to recognize her but if they do, they definitely don’t care. Dany runs out of the lair, visibly shaken and frightened of her full grown children.
House Lannister
We have our very first Game of Thrones flashback, LOST style in our season-opening scene. Meet young CerseiLannister – a rebellious blonde teenager who is still arrogant, bossy, and a little too confident. Young Cersei guides her friend into a creepy house in woods near Casterly Rock. The two girls enter per Cersei’s insistence and find a witch? a creepy woman? a sage? I’m not 100% sure. But Cersei uses her Lannister name to force the woman into telling her future. The woman licks a drop of Cersei’s blood then gives Cersei three questions. Cersei asks when she will be married but the witch tells Cersei won’t marry a prince, she will marry a King and become Queen. However, she won’t be Queen for long. “You’ll be Queen for a time. Then comes another, younger, more beautiful, to cast you down and take all you hold dear.” She also tells Cersei that the king will have 20 children but Cersei will only have three children and she will see them all die. “Gold their crowns, gold their shrouds.” Eeeeeerily accurate, if you ask me.
We cut to Cersei in the present day preparing to attend the funeral of the late Tywin Lannister. She is wearing black to mourn her father as she marches through the streets of King’s Landing to the sound of the bells accompanied by a King’s Guard. Cersei makes the funeral attendees wait so she can have a moment alone with her father. Turns out Jaime Lannister is also with Tywin and the two share a not-so-tender moment. They discuss their fears – Jaime’s fear that the lords and ladies of Westeros will try and steal everything Tywin has created for him and Cersei’s fear of where and what Tyrion is doing. Cersei is completely focused on “the little monster” who killed their father. She asks Jaime if he set Tyrion free. When Jaime doesn’t respond, she tells him that at least Tyrion killed their father by choice. Jaime helped in that killing by refusing to ever acknowledge that Tyrion was a problem. It’s not surprising to me that Tywin, the man who stood between Jaime and Cersei for their entire lives, is continuing to drive them apart in his absence. But it is surprising for me to see Jaime’s concern for the inheritance he cannot have and so boldly refused while Cersei is dismissing the inheritance we thought she’d go after. Maybe Cersei really was the Lannister who contributed most to Tywin’s legacy. With a farewell kiss from Cersei, we see the last of Tywin Lannister. I cannot say I’m upset.
We immediately find ourselves in a box, peering through a wall of peepholes, moving awkwardly through a city. Tyrion Lannister has finally arrived in Pentos, safe and sound though covered in poop, courtesy of Lord Varys. Tyrion looks like shit as he struggles to stand after crossing the Narrow Sea in such dismal conditions. Varys apologizes for the situation but reminds Tyrion the crate was necessary since Varys broke many laws by breaking him out of King’s Landing making them both wanted men. Varys tells Tyrion he is at the home of a friend, Illyrio Mopatis (Reminder: this is the same man who housed Dany and her horrid brother, Viserys, before Dany was wed to Khal Drogo). Varys goes on to explain that Varys, Illyrio, and a group of others were working in secret to support a Targaryen restoration of the throne by overthrowing King Robert, setting forth a chain of events that contributed to where they have ended up today. Tyrion starts…continues…drinking and it’s visible that he’s being haunted by the murders of Shae and Lord Tywin. He must come to terms with what he has done before he can begin to plan the next step for himself and for the Realm.
Later, Tyrion and Varys discuss how Tyrion ended up in a box crossing the Narrow Sea. Varys sticks with the story that Lord Jaime asked him to save Tyrion’s life. But then he adds more. Varys saved Tyrion for the Seven Kingdoms. Varys believes “men of talent have a part to play in the war to come.” Tyrion is doubtful but Varys reminds him that Tyrion has instincts for politics coupled with compassion. “What is it you want exactly?” asks Tyrion. Varys wants peace and a ruler in place who will not spread misery throughout the lands. They both agree that Tyrion himself could never sit on the Iron Throne. “But you could help another climb those steps and take that seat.” Varys goes on to explain the ideal Westerosi monarch – a strong ruler with a gentle heart; both intimidating and inspiring. Leading to my favorite exchange of the episode:
Varys: “A ruler loved by millions with a powerful army and the right family name.” Tyrion: “Good luck finding him.” Varys: “Who said anything about him?”
Then, Varys asks Tyrion if he will ride with him to Meereen to meet Daenerys and find out if the world is worth fighting for. Cue my insides freaking out on this possible character interaction.
Back at the funeral, Ser Loras Tyrell goads Cersei by pretending to fake deep remorse for her father. Cersei pretends to listen while really focusing on Margaery Tyrell and her young, beautiful hands carefully grazing King Tommen. As Cersei dismisses herself, she is stopped by a strangely familiar face. Lancel Lannister returns but is almost unrecognizable, barefoot with a Marine-worthy buzz cut wearing nothing but a plain robe. Cersei says as much before Lancel’s father walks over and breaks up the conversation. Lancel’s father apologizes for his sons appearance and tells her that Lancel is now a part of a religious group that refer to themselves as the Sparrows. Cersei excuses herself, grabs some wine, and seeks alone time. But Lancel finds her again and, in a new deep voice, tells Cersei that he can be forgiven now. He talks about how he tempted her into the darkness of their incestual bed and then brings up King Robert and the boar hunt. Cersei feigns ignorance but Lancel insists that he is finally at peace for what they’ve done and Cersei can find peace in the Light of the Seven, too. This conversation is strange but we gain a very useful tidbit of information. Lancel blames himself and the Queen Regent for the death of King Robert. Maybe the theory of Lancel pouring alcohol down Robert’s throat on purpose has some merit.
Queen Margaery interrupts Ser Loras’ sex-scapades/Martell history lesson (love what you did there, GOT) with a call for dinner. Margaery has no shame and plops right down on the bed. After Loras’ handsome lover leaves, she questions Loras. Shouldn’t he be more discreet since he is set to marry Cersei? Loras feels otherwise. Now that Tywin Lannister is dead, he doesn’t think there is anyone living that can force Cersei into marrying him. Unfortunately, for Margaery that means her mother-in-law will be stuck living in King’s Landing. “Perhaps,” Margaery says coolly. “Perhaps.”
House Stark and House Baratheon
We catch up with the Stark family first with Jon Snow. He’s training Olly to be a Man of the Night’s Watch. It feels a lot like Arya’s training in season one. Samwell Tarly and Gilly watch, “shouldn’t you be training too?” He replies, “How many men can say they’ve killed a White Walker and a Thenn.” Oh Sam, let’s not get too over-confident now. Ser Allister grimaces as he passes Gilly. We learn that a Lord Commander has not been chosen yet but Ser Allister is in the running. Gilly is worried that if he’s chosen she will be packing her bags. Sam replies, “Wherever you go, I go too.” Say it with me now, awwwwww.
Out of nowhere, Melisandre shows up. Jon Snow sees what we all see; she’s creepy as hell. He’s being summoned. On the way to see Stannis, Melisandre stares at him with her best bedroom eyes. “You’re not cold milady,” he asks. “Never, the Lord’s fire lives within me Jon Snow,” she says as she takes his hand and places it on her cheek. She the asks, “Are you a virgin?” “No.” “Good.” Now I’m the one grimacing.
Jon Snow and Stannis discuss Roose Bolton’s rule of Winterfell. Stannis asks if Jon Snow wants revenge for Robb’s death. “I want many a thing but I’m a sworn man of the Night’s Watch.” Changing the topic, Stannis and Davos ask about Ygritte. Why was Jon Snow seen taking her body north of the Wall? “It was where she belonged.” Davos brings up that some of the Night’s Watch think that Jon Snow has too much affection for the Wildlings. Stannis reveals that he wants to mount Roose Bolton’s head on a stake. Now that Tywin is dead there is nothing stopping him from taking over the North. He wants Jon Snow to help him wrangle the Wildlings to serve as his army. The best way to do that is to get Mance Raydar to swear his allegiance to Stannis. It’s up to Jon Snow to convince Mance or he will burn.
Later, Jon Snow visits Mance Raydar. They reflect on the irony of the situation. Jon Snow was once his prisoner, insert hearty laugh here. Mance already knows what Stannis is after, “I’ll give him this much, he’s bold.” Mance has no intention of even kneeling and he doesn’t want his people bleeding for Stannis Baratheon’s war. Jon Snow encourages him to reconsider by reminding him of how strong of a leader he is; after all he united ninety clans for one cause and he did it to save them. Isn’t their survival more important than his pride? Short answer, no. Mance Raydar believes that the Wildlings followed him because they respected him. The moment he kneels, that respect is gone.
It’s then that Jon Snow tells him that they plan to burn him alive. Mance Raydar doesn’t want to be remembered yelling from a stake but he’d rather burn then kneel. He will never enlist his people in a foreigner’s war. When Jon Snow says he’s making a mistake, he replies “freedom to make my own mistakes was all I ever wanted”
That night, he is marched from his cell. Stannis gives him the opportunity to kneel. He replies, “This was my home for many years. I wish you good fortune in the wars to come.” With a nod from Stannis, Mance Raydar is to be burned. As everyone watches Melisandre steps forward, “We all must choose. Man or woman, young or old, lord or peasant, our choices are the same. We choose light or we choose darkness, we choose good or we choose evil. We choose the true god or the false. Free folk, there is only one true king and his name is Stannis. Here stands your king of lies. Behold the fate of those who chose the darkness.” She lights him up. It definitely seemed like Mance is having second thoughts about his defiance. Jon Snow looks disgusted. Yep, Mance is definitely having second thoughts. I start yelling at my television, CUT HIM DOWN! Jon Snow storms off. Mance starts crying. Gilly hides her face. Stannis’s wife is really into it. Tormund Giantsbane is getting angry. All of a sudden, an arrow! Jon Snow shoots Mance with an arrow to put him out of his misery. Thank god.
With that, the show ends. I think it’s safe to say that yes, Jon Snow does have too much affection for the Wildlings.
We briefly catch up with Sansa. She’s with Littlefinger. They are dropping Robin off with Lord Royce for safekeeping. While they watch a pitiful Robin try to sword fight (a big contrast from Olly and Arya, he is actually whimpering) Littlefinger gets a secret note. With that, it’s time to go.
Brienne and Podrick are licking their wounds and planning their next steps. Podrick mentions going to Castle Black but Brienne is not having it. She’s feeling a bit discouraged and doesn’t know what she’s fighting for anymore. She’d like to dump Podrick right about now. Since she’s not a proper knight, she shouldn’t have a squire. Podrick reminds her of her promise; she has to find the Stark girls. Arya might not have been interested but there’s always Sansa. She replies, “I don’t want anyone following me, I’m not a leader. All I ever wanted was to fight for a lord I believed in. The good lords are dead and the rest are monsters.” Is this more foreshadowing for #TeamDany?
Well, lo and behold, there’s Sansa. Riding right by Brienne. Oh, Game of Thrones you can be so frustrating. In the carriage, Littlefinger and Sansa discuss whom they can and can’t trust. Dark Sansa is learning from the master. We learn that Littlefinger is taking her somewhere that Cersei will never find her.
Looks like next week we will get to visit Arya at the House of Black and White.
House Martell
No mention of House Martell yet but it looks like we will get to meet the new family next week. There was a quick mention of Dorne, in comparison to Loras Tyrell’s birthmark. What we know of its geography, there’s a Sunspear bit, mountains, and a place called Sandstone.
Rock Paper Watch’s Top Quote of 5×1:
Jenn’s Pick – “Can I drink myself to death on the road to Meereen?” – Tyrion Lannister in response to meeting Dany.
Elizabeth’s Pick – “They were born on the wrong side of the wall. It doesn’t make them monsters.” – Jon Snow about the Wildlings
Game of Thrones Recaps are authored by Jenn O’Mera (Lannister and Targaryen) and Elizabeth Bond (Stark/Baratheon and Martell). Feel free to contact any author with feedback or questions.
Meet the Sand Snakes, the bastard daughters of Oberyn and Ellaria.
1. New House & New Location
We met our first member of House Martell, Prince Oberyn, last season. (Who can forget his sultry voice, his disdain for Lannisters’, and his way with candles?) Sadly, the Mountain crushed our handsome prince (pun definitely intended) during a battle by combat that resulted in the infamous Oberyn Headsplosion. For those of you that didn’t read the books, House Martell is the head family in the Kingdom of Dorne ruling out of the castle of Sunspear. Dorne, the southernmost point of the Seven Kingdoms, has been mentioned in Game of Thrones before. You may recall that when Tyrion was serving as Hand of the King, he orchestrated a plot to have Marcella Baratheon (Lannister) sent away from King’s Landing. The little lion princess is currently trapped living in Dorne.
Dorne is different from the rest of the kingdoms of Westeros in that it was never truly conquered by the Targaryen’s. Dorne swore fielty to the Iron Throne by choice centuries after Aegon’s invasion. Like their ancestors that came before House Martell, Dornish noble Houses follow gender-blind equal primogeniture, in which the eldest child is the heir regardless of whether they are male or female. The words of the Martells are “Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken” and bastard children assume the name of “Sand.” The Martells are deeply resentful of the Lannister family and blame Tywin for the death of Elia Martell, wife of Prince Rhaegar Targeryen, and her children.
This season, we will meet even more members of House Martell. Oberyn’s paramour, Ellaria Sand, will be returning to report the dreadful news of Oberyn’s death to the reigning Prince of Dorne and Oberyn’s older brother, Prince Doran Martell. We will also be meeting the Sand Snakes, the bastard daughters of Oberyn and Ellaria. The Sand Snakes are skilled fighters trained by their father and will most certainly be seeking revenge against the Lannisters.
Rumor has it that Jaime Lannister will be departing King’s Landing and riding south to broker peace in Dorne. Bookreaders know this is a change in Jaime’s story and I’m interested to see how they fit this into Jaime’s character progression. Perhaps the Kingslayer will arrive just in time to save Princess Marcella from the deadly grasp of the Sand Snakes?
Sand Snakes using scorpion torture. NBD
2. No Bran, No Hodor.
‘Nough said. This season will not include Bran Stark or his gentle giant companion, Hodor, as the TV series has caught up to his storyline. Who will be around to “Hodor” for us?!
3. Who Crossed the Narrow Sea?
When we left, Arya had set her sights on Braavos. For those of you in need of a refresh, remember Jaqen H’ghar? Jaqen helped Arya, Hot Pie, and Gendry escape Harrenhal in season two and then he changed into another person like whoosh. That’s because he was a member of the Faceless Men, a trained group of assassins. Arya used the coin given to her by Jaqen to gain passage to cross the Narrow Sea. Is Arya on her way to become an assassin? Will she soon be just as deadly as Jaqen?
The last we saw of Tyrion, he was being packed into a box by Varys and boarding a ship set sail for freedom. This was all after he killed Tywin on the toilet and strangled Shae with her own necklace. Can we all just have a slow clap for Tyrion?
But, where is he going? Judging by this season 5 poster, we can make one guess:
Also, in recent clips we’ve heard this exchange between Varys and Tyrion:
V: The Seven Kingdoms needs a ruler loved by millions with a powerful army and the right family name.
T: Good luck finding him. V: Who said anything about ‘him’?”
4. The Wall is Getting Crowded
The Brothers of the Night’s Watch are no longer alone.
At the end of last season, we saw the arrival of Stannis Baratheon at The Wall where he saved Jon Snow from certain imprisonment and possible death at the hands of Mance Rayder. The goal here for Stannis is to protect all of Westeros from the White Walkers and prove himself the One True King.
The Night’s Watch also needs a new leader (RIP Lord Commander Mormont). Who will be chosen to take the lead? Will Stannis insert himself, or will he allow a new Brother to rise to the top?
Bonus, rumor has it Melisandre will set her eyes on Jon Snow. Man, this guy’s got a thing for redheads, I VOLUNTEER!
5. And everyone else?
Dark Sansa
Sansa has officially made a deal with the devil, as in Littlefinger. (Reminder: Littlefinger revealed at the end of season four that HE was the one who killed Jon Arryn, which instigated King Robert riding North and setting Game of Thrones in motion). Now that she’s dyed her hair and decided to join the “game,” what’s next for these two? I don’t know but I bet it’ll be a little creepy.
Third time’s a charm?
Poor Margaery is set to marry a king, again. Will sweet, innocent Tommen survive the wedding? Only time will tell.
It’s a man’s man’s man’s world
…but all her men are gone! What will Cersei do without Tywin, Tyrion, or Jaime to manipulate and whine to, or about? Will there be anyone to protect her when it’s time for her to pay for her many, many crimes?
This is a real mystery
We already know that Brienne of Tarth’s storyline is deviating pretty dramatically from the books. After taking down The Hound but losing Arya, what’s next for her and Podrick? Will she stay on her mission to find the Stark girls?
Oh, Reek
Things are still pretty bad for Theon/Reek. Our favorite Ironborn has spent the last two seasons as the tortured servant of Ramsay Bolton. Will he ever escape? Sometimes I watch season one of Game of Thrones just to remind myself of cocky, self-absorbed Theon. Gah, so attractive. Just me? Okay.
Trouble in Paradise
At the conclusion of the season, Daenerys finally learned the truth about Jorah Mormont’s original reason for seeking her out and “protecting” her. (He was a spy for King Robert working to regain his freedom in Westeros.) Dany banished Jorah from her encampment and sent him to the #FriendZone4Life.
Breaker of Chains Used Chains
After Dany learned that the dragons committed the horrific crime of killing a child, she was forced to put them in chains and lock them away. Something tells me this is not going to end well considering Drogon is MIA.
Budding Romance?
When we last saw Greyworm and Missandei she was teaching him the Common Tongue. As their lessons progressed, they bonded over the loss of their homelands. While swimming, Greyworm noticed Missandei bathing naked. When she notices him watching, she stands up slowly to let him get an eye full before covering herself. Later, he apologizes but she says she wasn’t uncomfortable. Is this the Westeros version of flirting?
And lastly…
Where in the Seven Kingdoms is Gendry?!
6. In Memorandum
To the characters that didn’t survive season four, we remember you fondly (or not so much).
Tywin Lannister
Joffrey Lannister
Shae
The Hound (maybe, maybe not? I don’t believe it until I see him dead.)
Lysa Arryn
Oberyn Martell
Jojen Reed Grenn and Pyp Ygritte Lord Commander Jeor Mormont
Game of Thrones recaps are authored by Jenn O’Mera and Elizabeth Bond. Feel free to contact any author with feedback or questions.
As much as it pains me to admit, all of the marketing that NBC’s The Slap forced on me while I was binge watching The Blacklist OnDemand worked and I was one of 5.1 million viewers to tune in to the live premiere last night. I watched for two reasons – the ensemble cast and the intriguing premise. The commercials leading up to the premiere revealed a dynamic family party featuring a fired up Zachary Quinto…slapping the shit out of a young child. It’s not ideal behavior; it’s not normal for TV; it’s provocative. I had to find out just why any grown man would behave in such a way. I also had one burning question – how could this entire show be based on one crazed moment? Turns out, there’s a whole lot more going on in Brooklyn.
So how was The Slap and is it worth your time? I break down my thoughts about what worked and what didn’t work below. You can decide if it’s the kind of thing for you.
What The Slap Delivered:
The cast really is phenomenal. Peter Sarsgaard makes me giddy like a little girl. After watching his breathtaking performance as Ray Seward in AMC’s The Killing, I knew that I would watch him in anything he did going forward. Add Zachary Quinto, Uma Thurman, Thandie Newton, Melissa George, and Brian Cox and you have the potential for a true knock-out success.
The show is about more than a slap. This group of friends and family is twisted and their history, convoluted. Each character brings something different to the table and their interactions are what will make this really interesting. (Just to give you a taste, we have a man having an affair with his babysitter, an artist, an abusive husband, and a set of overbearing wealthy Greek parents.) The storylines of the show already go way beyond child rearing and discipline. In the first hour, the show introduces themes like adultery, social class distinctions, working man vs. rich man, relationships, career struggles, parental interference in relationships. And that’s just some of it.
The show makes you think. This is not an example of mindless television. It’s the polar opposite. Each theme, and each character, somehow forced me to think about how our own personal choices can deeply affect other people. I’m also still trying to figure out with whom I’m empathizing with most. I keep wondering things like, What would I do if someone slapped my nonexistent kid? Would I have slapped a kid who kicked me? Many people are also questioning the choice to make Hugo (the five-year old who gets slapped) a child that is still breast-feeding. While I understand the aversion to this sensitive topic, I’m actually glad that they chose to include it. It drove home the point for me that normal is relative and what I consider normal is far different from what someone else considers normal. Despite that, respect must still be a two way street. I still can’t decide if I think Hugo deserved the slap from Harry (Quinto), but the bottom line is that this show still has me thinking and questioning a day later. I’m pulled in.
What The Slap Whiffed On:
The voice over narrator. At random points in the episode, a third party voice chimed in with narrations about what was happening on screen and what the character was thinking. It felt out of place and a little bit insulting, as if the audience isn’t smart enough to catch on to these things, or the actor wasn’t talented enough to convey it.
Confusion. Family relationships aren’t 100% clear. Right now, I’m still not sure if Harry is related to the child that he slapped, or if he’s simply a family friend. While it was evident that most of this group of people were very familiar with each other, and some of their family ties were made clear, there is still some confusion. In a show that is this driven by relationships, you would think they would have done a better job of letting us know exactly who was who.
While I’m still not convinced that this show will be winning any Emmy’s next year, I have decided I’m going to stick with it and see it to the end. I think The Slap is smart and I appreciate any TV that has great acting and intriguing stories. I’m invested in these people and this incident and I want to know what happens. Though I do have to admit, I was relieved when I found out that this show is only going to be an eight-episode mini-series. If it does turn out to be a let-down, I can forget it ever happened and let The Slap fade away like a real nasty bruise.
When we last saw Mike, he had gotten out of the exotic dancing world to focus on his dream of becoming a custom-furniture designer, but old habits die hard. With that said, Magic Mike XXL seems to be giving the audience exactly what it wants and I’m totally okay with that. So bring it on. Let’s indulge with more of Channing Tatum’s dance moves and more of the guys. From the trailer, it seems we still have Tito (Adam Rodriguez), Ken (Matt Bomer), Tarzan (Kevin Nash), and Big Dick Richie (Joe Manganiello). Thanks for the peep show!
Daredevil on Netflix
Confession time. I’ve had a crush on Charlie Cox since 2007’s severely underrated Stardust. Also, Netflix is where it’s at. And this is coming out my birthday weekend. Since, I have no life let’s just pretend this is an early birthday present to me.
The trailer is dark, in both tone and aesthetics. It all centers around Matt Murdock’s confession to upcoming crimes. The trailer also offers brief glimpses at the supporting cast—Deborah Ann Woll, Rosario Dawson, Elden Henson, and Vincent D’Onofrio.
Are you frequently the last person to hear about just about everything?
Do you ever get excluded for wearing sweatpants on Monday?
If you answered yes to questions 1 and/or 2, like I did, then pay attention, because I have a solution for us. If you answered yes to 3, I can’t really help you. Get new pants.
I introduce you to theSkimm. TheSkimm is a daily news email that arrives in your inbox before 7AM, Monday-Friday. It gives you a breakdown of the news with fresh and witty editorial content.
TheSkimm was started by Carly Zakin and Danielle Weisberg, who realized their friends and fellow millennials were too busy to stay in touch with what’s what in the world. In July 2012, theSkimm was introduced and with it, a quick, sharp voice was born, one that speaks across party lines, gender lines, and subject lines to educate the digital masses. I discovered it in that same summer and it’s become a crucial part of my work day routine. I Skimm each morning on the train while commuting in to Philly. My favorite part about theSkimm is watching it transform every single day. I can honestly say, theSkimm just keeps getting better and better.
In today’s technology-driven world, we are flushed with constant streams of information on social media, on the interweb, and on television. The endless debacle for humans has become deciphering between the essential and nonessential. Now I can’t help you figure out which update on Facebook is really worth reading, or what pants you need to wear to keep your friends, but I can help you stay updated with current events. The answer is TheSkimm. It is the key to starting smart conversations and staying informed about the topics that really matter. Yes, we all know that George Clooney’s wedding was a groundbreaking moment in history. But it is equally, if not more important for us to know and understand what is happening with ISIS, with our government, and with the Ebola outbreak. TheSkimm provides us with the essentials while simultaneously incorporating fun and fresh knowledge.
One of my favorite aspects about theSkimm, besides it’s ability to make me snicker every morning, is it’s dedication to covering both sides of the fence. They try to speak to both sides – ya know, the Left AND the Right – while still offering the bigger picture for those stuck in the middle. Today, for example, theSkimm recapped the history of the civil war in Syria by attacking the story from three angles: “What the ‘Told You So’ Side Said,” “What the ‘We Did What Made Sense’ Side Said,” and “What theSKIMM Says.” They aren’t interested in who is right or wrong; they simply want us to know what the heck is going on.
I also love their endless efforts to add some fun to the morning. Some of their new segments include:
Things to Know (like #X is the universal sign for ‘driving now, I’ll text later’);
Fantasy Football Thursday Tips (Ladies and gents, you do want to have Marshawn Lynch starting in your line up);
Skimm Reads (This week, you should be reading “Brain on Fire” by Susannah Ca);
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It’s official, the wait is over. Yesterday morning, the Today show premiered the trailer for the erotic romance Fifty Shades of Grey. Slated for release on Valentine’s Day 2015, the trailer offers the first look at the delicious Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey and so so much more. Let’s not waste another minute, Elizabeth Bond and Ashley Foster allow their inner goddesses to react to the long awaited glimpse into the Red Room of Pain.
Elizabeth: So is it sad that I’m already assuming that for Valentine’s Day I’m driving down to Charlotte and we are going to see Fifty?
Ashley: YESSS!! I was going to ask you the other day what we should do for Valentines day but I was like, “maybe it’s too early?”
E: Okay let’s talk about this trailer. The first meeting…
Anastasia describes him as “He was polite, intense, smart, really intimidating.” Grey asks, “I’d like to know more about you.” Anastasia replies, “There’s really not much to know about me, I mean look at me…” “I am,” he replies, and with that we get our first look at Jamie Dornan’s Christian Grey.
E: Can we just talk about how perfect he is?
A: I…I…I just wanna bite that bottom lip.
E: YESSSSS! Gah, where can I get me one of those?!
A: But seriously though. American accents aren’t sexy…somehow he manages to make his sexy?
E: One of the things that I always found attractive about Jamie Dornan after watching him in The Fall and Once Upon a Time was that British accent but his certainty when he looks at Dakota Johnson’s Anastasia makes me weak in the knees.
E: Let’s talk about Anastasia for a second. She’s much “frumpier” than I thought she would be in her mismatched outfit and shyness, but it works.
A: Yeah, I almost expected a little more “Joey Potter-esque” fashion. A little more girl next door…with a side of frump.
E: Definitely! Speaking of fashion, how about that grey suit and THE TIE!?
A: Yes! Loved the incorporation of the grey tie…but one thing missing from the scene was Anastasia tripping through the door….what’s up with that?
E: Is that gone? Or do we have to wait for the movie to see Grey catch her and the physical repercussions of their first touch?
A: I certainly hope not. I feel like some of the key scenes are definitely being saved for us to enjoy during the movie. I mean, they can’t give it all away in the preview. (Even though I wish they would)
E: The scene where she gets on the elevator, in the book, is plagued with sexual tension and I definitely felt it here. As I watched, I was like “oh man, he’s got her.”
A: I certainly enjoyed this. It’s just like you knew the OTHER elevator scene was just around the corner. I think my favorite part about this was the gleam in her eye. It was like, “OH…SHIT….”
E: Exactly! The only thing missing here for me was “Anastasia,” he says as a farewell. “Christian.” I reply. GOD THE FIRST TIME THEY SAY THEIR FIRST NAMES SPEAKS VOLUMES.
A: OH MAN. It really does, it’s almost like their names were code for, “Yep, this is about to get REAL in about two chapters.”
E: LIKE FOREPLAY.
A: I’ve got to say, I was a little skeptical about Dakota Johnson playing the role, but by this point she had convinced she could definitely fill the shoes of Anastasia.
E: Gah, he’s gorgeous. That brooding stare.
A: Aw! Jose! He’s like the Jacob of Fifty Shades! Honestly…I wasn’t paying attention to him. Talk about a man that can wear fitted suit! Ow owwww!
E: mmmhmmm!
A: Taylor! I’m so excited they showed his face in the preview. He was probably one of my favorite characters in the books.
E: He’s like Anastasia’s confidant and sidekick almost. And I love this actor (Max Martini). He’s so good in these types of silent but strong background roles.
Anastasia asks “To what to you owe your success?” and Christian replies, “I exercise control in all things Miss Steele.” “That must be really boring,” says Anastasia while Christian smirks.
E: At this point she’s still totally unaware of how much control he “exercises.” Girl, it’s hardly boring. Mwahahahaha.
A: Yadda, Yadda…Coffee…Tea…Okay enough of this. ONWARD! THE ELEVATOR SCENE!
E: This is about the time that my brain just stopped working and I started thinking with other parts of my body…
A: Beside the fact my brain shut down as well…I loved that even early on he was like, “No, no, you can’t touch me. Don’t mind if I do…just going to pin you to this elevator wall.”
E: RIGHT! Like the second she reaches for the back of his neck, out of reflex, he swoops in and takes control. Their chemistry is incredible here.
A: Yep. My innards hurt.
E: And Beyonce didn’t help.
A: Can we just talk about the choice for Beyonce to be on the soundtrack? #NAILEDIT Her latest album is just SEX.
E: Evidently, this is quite the scandal. Several publications have expressed their disdain for Beyonce’s involvement but her brand just fits here. And the new recording of Crazy in Love is perfect. The crescendo of the chorus happening as he pins her to the wall of the elevator, my god.
A: Disdain? Girl is laughing all the way to the bank….Plus I’d just like to think Beyonce is putting her foot down and just relating to women everywhere like, “Yeah, this stuff turned me on too…”
E: I find it personally satisfying then that I have something in common with Queen Bey.
A: It’s like we are all besties with Queen Bey.
E: Gah, if only.
“I’m incapable of leaving you alone,” Christian says. “Then don’t,” replies Anastasia.
E: This is hands down one of my favorite parts of the trailer (as well as the book). You may remember, they are leaving the coffee shop and she almost gets hit by a car only to get pulled back onto the sidewalk by Christian at the last minute. In the book, she is in his arms briefly but her thoughts are pleading for him to kiss her. (“Kiss me damnit!” I implore him, but I can’t move. I’m paralyzed with a strange, unfamiliar need.) I love how in this scene, you see that Christian is struggling with the same damn unfamiliar need.
A: It definitely written ALL over his face. Side note: They never showed the hardware store scene! What a classic tale of duct tape and rope….
E: That’s gotta still be there, right?
A: I think some of the first photos that leaked from the set were scenes from the hardware store. Here’s hoping!
“I had a rough start in life, you should steer clear of me.”
E: Tortured Christian, this is what I knew Jamie Dornan would be able to pull off well. He’s not afraid of complex characters and they don’t get much more complex than Christian Grey.
A: This is one of those things I didn’t catch until I went back and watched it the second time.
E: Well again, I left my brain back there in the elevator.
A: #realtalk
E: This is a pivotal sequence featured in the trailer. First, Christian shows up only after knowing Anastasia a few hours and pushes Jose away as he tries to kiss Anastasia. A very public proclamation of his intentions. Then, the damsel in distress that she is, he takes her to his hotel and tucks her into bed. He lightly kisses her goodnight and leaves. When she wakes up there is a glass of orange juice and two Advil but no Christian. It’s the first time she experiences how tender he can be, but also how cold.
A: I love how instantly protective he is over her. They really do a great job of showcasing that in preview.
E: Exactly, moving on…
Over a series of scandalous shots we hear Christian tell Anastasia “I don’t do romance, my tastes are very singular. You wouldn’t understand.”
E: Now the good stuff!
A: Did you see how she squeezed her legs together and gave him that look! Hot damn!
E: All during a Grey family dinner too, my goodness! I think I started to blush. Side note, there should have been more Marcia Gay Harden in the preview. There should always be more Marcia Gay Harden.
A: I know! I can’t believe they only showed the back of her perfectly tamed coiffe! This scene get’s me really excited (ha-ha) for the benefit party in the second book….now that…is scandalous.
E: Elena hasn’t been cast yet right? I’m still holding out for Sharon Stone.
E: I was too distracted by his shirt off and those beautiful lowrise jeans to notice that he’s in the Red Room of Pain.
A: Just found my new desktop background. Man, let’s just talk about how that is EXACTLY what I pictured when reading the book. HOT DAMN. I salute you Levi’s!
E: Speaking of low rise…
A: Praises be….
E: Gah, that look he’s giving her, it’s like he’s begging her ‘please love me.’ God, my heart just melted. Leave me alone and give me chocolate.
A: Where are they during this scene by the way?!
E: My guess is his bedroom.
A: I just imagined it to be more white…and airy…but it matches his broodiness. Also, did you notice the sweat?
E: Also also, I love the intimacy that’s hinted at here. She’s in a big t-shirt, he’s in sweats.
A: So very sexy…lets be honest.
E: “Enlighten me then.” Ask and you shall receive Miss Steele! Here we go…
A: Dakota nailed the reaction…sort of, “wtf” mixed with “hmmmmmm….?”
So I realize that my opinion is not a popular one, but I really enjoyed HBO’s new series The Leftovers. While somewhat confusing, I thought it was a great pilot. There were several twists and turns, unanswered questions, and a small reveal that easily set the landscape for an interesting new show.
At the start of the hour, a distracted mother is at the laundromat with her crying baby. While on the phone, she straps her screaming child into the car-seat. The camera slowly zooms in on the baby, there’s a quick moment of peace like he sees something in the sky. He screams again and then silence. The mother turns around and her baby is gone, just gone. She gets out, looks around the car, searches the parking lot, then panicked, she starts screaming. A young boy nearby is yelling for his father while an abandoned shopping cart aimlessly rolls into a parked car. A speeding car, now driverless, slams into another car in the intersection down the street. Where did everybody go?
The show then jumps three years to Mapleton, New York where we learn that 2% of the world’s population, 140 million people, vanished on October 14th. The rest of the world is in this frightening purgatory, unsure of what happened or what it all means. On a similar note, I found myself asking throughout the episode, “what if it happens again?” Because of that paranoia, the pilot reminded me of ABC’s short lived (and greatly missed) series FlashForward, only if it was darker and sexier. FlashForward follows a global blackout in which the entire world loses consciousness for 137 seconds. During those seconds, people see what appears to be a vision of their own life approximately six months in the future. The similarities lie in the pandemonium the blackouts cause and the global uncertainty and confusion. However unlike FlashForward, The Leftovers isn’t trying to explain why those people vanished. It’s more like a character study on grief.
Backing up to this purgatory situation… I found the religious undertones extremely interesting throughout the episode. Several times, characters asked why God did this or why He chose the people He chose. For example, Gary Busey? Really? The Book of Matthew describes a similar event in which “Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left.” Recent Christian theology believes that this is the Rapture. It’s the first real occasion that the believers on Earth will rise to meet Jesus in the sky. It’s also the beginning of the Second Coming, which is a seven-year period where the “leftovers” are stuck in a type of purgatory. During this time there are wars, plagues, then the emergence of the anti-Christ before 1,000 years of peace under Christ’s renewed rule. If this is the case, things are just getting interesting in the fictional world of The Leftovers.
The viewers are immersed into this world through the eyes of one family. Let’s meet the Garveys.
Papa Kevin Garvey, played by Justin Theroux (Jennifer Aniston, you are one lucky woman), is all kinds of messed up. As the police chief, he’s trying to find order in the chaos while dealing with the town’s most complicated citizens. He’s very apprehensive and hostile towards the town cult, Guilty Remnants (or GR). He’s trying his best with his teenage daughter but they both seem so plagued by grief and anger they can barely function. To make matters worse, it seems like Garvey has several hidden issues of his own.
In the beginning of the episode, Garvey is out for a run when he crosses paths with a dog. As he beckons the dog to come closer, the dog is shot by a neighbor who then speeds away. Garvey puts the dead dog in his trunk and gets ready for the day ahead. On his way to work, he stops by the address on the dog’s collar. While walking up the sidewalk he sees a buck stoically standing in the garden. The owner doesn’t want the dog, she says it disappeared with her husband three years ago. Garvey throws the collar in the trunk with the dog’s corpse and gets a call informing him he’s late for the meeting with the mayor to discuss Heroes Day. Later, Garvey is obviously dreaming (I say obviously because he’s driving in the dream and his daughter was last seen with his car) when he hits the buck. When he awakes, it is to a phone call saying that he’s late for the Heroes Day parade. As he’s leaving for the parade he finds that his kitchen is destroyed. Garvey doesn’t mention it to anyone at the parade. (Side note: The kitchen is traditionally perceived as the mother’s area within the home.) At the end of the episode, he once again almost runs over the buck but is able to stop. He gets out and they share a moment. “Were you in my house last night?” he asks the buck. A pack of dogs come running and begin tearing the buck to pieces. The shooter from earlier in the episode arrives, “Am I awake?” Garvey asks him. “You are now, aren’t you?” and they both empty their guns into the pack of wild dogs.
I’ve gone back and forth on this quite a bit. I think the dog was real. I think anything with the buck was a dream. Whenever he saw the buck, there was some type of lapse in time or miscommunication about when he needed to be somewhere. A few of my friends took the episode as all real but I feel like whenever a character has to ask “Am I awake?” he’s probably not. There’s really nothing I love more than an unreliable narrator (see Hannibal or Homeland). It adds an extra layer to the show’s complexity. Furthermore, towards the end of the episode when asked “where were you when it happened?” Garvey has a quick flashback to hot-and-heavy sex with someone who may or may not be his wife. If it isn’t his wife, who at this point we assume is one of the millions that have vanished, is his relentless guilt leading him on a dangerous downward spiral? Is the buck a symbol of his failed marriage?
I’ll be honest, The Leftovers had me at “From the creator of Friday Night Lights” but I never thought I’d see Dillon-alum Buddy Garrity (Brad Leland) as a congressman in the premiere episode. Congressman Witten pays Tom Garvey (Kevin Garney’s son, we learn this after he repeatedly ignores his father’s phone calls) to drive him to an undisclosed location to meet a mysterious holy-man named Wayne. When Tom (Chris Zylka) drops the politician off at a ranch (where FNL creator himself, Peter Berg, is one of the guards) it’s clear that they’re not in Mapleton, New York. The pool at the ranch is surrounded by young, bikini-clad Asian girls. We meet one of them, Christine, who seems to have a small crush on Tom. It’s clear that Wayne’s not a huge fan of their friendship and requests that Tom stay the night so he and Wayne can have a special meeting. Later, Wayne enters Tom’s room carrying a knife. He warns Tom to keep his hands off Christine and then shares his own dream in which he believes something bad is coming. “The grace period is over, Tom,” says Wayne. “Time to go to work.”
The teenage daughter Jill (Margaret Qualley) is angry. During field hockey practice, she responds to basic rough play with a hard elbow throw, inevitably breaking the girl’s nose. Her coach let’s her off with a warning but not before asking if things are okay at home after what happened to her mother. Later, Jill and her friend Aimee convince Garvey to give them his car so they can go to a party. This is where things get interesting. At the party, they play a sadistic game of Spin the Bottle that includes options like Hug, Burn, Choke, and F—. Teenagers in a normal circumstance have little regard for their own mortality, post-October 14th they have even less. Why should they be concerned about consequences if God has supposedly already made His decisions? Jill gets stuck with Choke. She lays in bed with her partner, choking him as he masturbates while subtle tears fall down her face and Al Green’s “Let’s Stay Together” plays over the scene.
Later, Jill is trying to leave the party when she discovers the dead dog in the trunk (leading me to believe that this one part is real). With the help of some guys from earlier in the episode, she buries the dog. We learn that most pets have lost it, they don’t know how to deal with this type of disruption and have gone wild. One of the guys points out that the “same thing is going to happen to us. It’s just taking longer.”
Throughout the episode we are allowed to assume that the mother vanished on October 14th. It’s revealed towards the end of the episode that the matriarch of the Garvey family is actually Laurie (Amy Brenneman), an active member of GR. This means that she chose to leave her family and let’s face it, that’s so much worse. The GR aim to serve as living reminders of God’s power and that His judgement is upon us. They have taken a vow of silence, smoke a lot of cigarettes, and wear all white. They watch silently from a distance and protest any attempts to move past the events of October 14th. They are openly resented by the rest of the population.
We see Laurie in action as she stalks Meg (Liv Tyler) until Meg eventually retreats to the GR house like it’s a safe haven. I’ve gathered that Meg is a major character in the books, which I intend to read after Bittersweet, but she wasn’t very important for the pilot.
What did you think of The Leftovers? Was it too confusing? Were there not enough answers? Say we don’t find out why those people vanished, would you still watch? In other words, are the chaotic lives of these characters enough to bring you back every week? Let us know because we’ll be watching (but not in a creepy way like the GR).
Meet the Sand Snakes, the bastard daughters of Oberyn and Ellaria.
ROCK PAPER WATCH 
