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True Blood Season 7 Premiere React – The Beginning of the End

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It’s hard to imagine that True Blood has been a part of our lives for only the past seven years.  It feels like a decade ago that we watched Sookie Stackhouse, a part-human part-fairy waitress from Bon Temps, Louisiana, meet her very first vampire.  Lately, we can hardly even remember the days when Bill was thought of with giddy girl-crushing love and admiration.  It’s difficult to even say his name anymore. (“Do you think Sookie will end up with Bilith?  I mean, Bill…”)

For Jenn O’Mara and Ashley Foster, the final season of True Blood is bittersweet.  They’ve been with the show for it all – through the good, the bad, and the ugly of seven seasons.  They witnessed every True Death, every True Blood drink order, every Sookie Stackhouse sex scene, all of it.  Saying good bye to the weirdos citizens of Bon Temps who manage to survive Season 7 isn’t going to be easy.  So in order to get the most of the season, they’re hashing out every possible theory, question, and mystery that the season has to offer.   Below is their Q&A discussion of their burning questions left after Sunday’s season premiere of True Blood.

 


 

1. Do we miss Tara already?

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Ashley: Sorry, no. Pam was the only thing that made her interesting. Good-bye.

Jenn: Nope!  I’ve always preferred Book Tara over TV Tara.  TV Tara’s place on True Blood always felt forced and out of place.  Her death, though mildly rushed and severely disappointing, started off the final season with the feeling that no one is safe, ever, even in the first 30 seconds of an episode!  It really is the beginning of the end…


2. What/who drew away the crazed vamps from Merlotte’s?

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Ashley:  Sarah Newlin. Crazy I know…but let’s think about this for a second.  She is a freaking can of crazy.  She’s ALWAYS hated vampires and certainly despises the ground Jason Stackhouse walks on.  Add that up and what’s stopping her from tearing him and his town apart?  Think of it this way, she has the motive and if she can control the Hep V vamps, she certainly has the ammo. Who better to destroy a whole species along with her enemies than the one person we would never suspect?  Sarah Newlin is a weed and she keeps coming back stronger in some weird way in every season. I mean, hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn.

Jenn:  I think Ashley is onto something seriously intriguing with Sarah Newlin.  If it is her, I bet Jason Stackhouse will really regret sparing her life.  But what if it’s something even crazier, like a king or queen from another state poised to rock Louisiana for a gigantic takeover?  Or it could be the Fae.  The only thing vampires love more than our half-fairy heroine are full-blown fairies.  The vamps have massacred their fair share of fairies and we’ve yet to see the show take on the book version of the Fae.  This theory has some  potential.  But I still think it’s probably the Fellowship and Sarah.


3. Where the hell is Eric Northman?

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A: I’d like to think he is waiting on me at home with a bubble bath and some champagne….but that’s just me. But in all seriousness, my imagination isn’t taking me anywhere on this one. I just feel like he’s actually dead, dead. It’s almost as if he’s had his moment in the sun (literally). But, then again, why would they be leading Pam on a rat race?

J:  He’s alive, somewhere.  (I only say this confidently because of season previews.  Without the Internet, I’d still be crying over his death…)  My King..I mean…Eric…probably buried himself in the snow when the fire started and is alive, laying majestically naked, somewhere near a body of water.  Pam will find him soon, remind him he’s acting crazy and needs to be home, and bring him back to Bon Temps just in time to fight Bill for our girl, Sookie.

Side note – Just at the point I started realizing the episode felt empty without Eric, we cut to Pam.  It’s as if the writers can feel it, too.  I bet when they aren’t writing (and thinking) about Alexander and his naked bod every 10 minutes, they start to become sweaty and distracted.  On a serious note – I hope there aren’t many more episodes without Eric Northman.  He’s by far my favorite character (show and book) and this is the last season.  I want all the Eric I can get.


4. Is Jessica going to kill all these fairies?

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A: I think Jessica is going to take a note from her maker and protect Adelaide like Bill did with Sookie. Jessica is definitely the one character who has had a ton of growing pains since her characters introduction to the series and it seems like she’s one of the few who has learned from her mistakes. So definitely not, Jessica is a good girl all the way.

J:  As much as I think Jessica shouldn’t in order to show that her character has indeed learned to become a civil and humane vampire (much quicker than any of the older vamps, I might add. Bill was a couple hundo years old for Pete’s sake),  I kind  of want her to for one reason – bad ass factor.  One of the things I love most about True Blood is it’s intense gore, violence, and high number of ‘WTF EWMYGOSH’ moments.  Jessica killing the only fairy that survived her the first time has potential to be freakin’ awesome.


5. Will Sookie really end up with Alcide?

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A: I hope not. I mean, that’s like asking if Bella is going to end up with Jacob. #sorrynotsorry (Spoiler Alert!) I know Sookie ends up with Sam in the books, but honestly I’m Team Bill. It seems like the show is getting back to the basics in the first episode this season. I mean, hello, did you see those season one-esque glances Bill and Sookie were exchanging back and forth? Unfortunately, I don’t think Alcide will ever fully accept Sookie for her past and her faults. Bill has never had that issue….

J:  Only when Lafayette ends up with Holly aka NEVER.  Alcide is on his way out the door and I hope last night was the only episode where they are together.  (Spoiler!) I also hope she doesn’t end up with Sam.   I get how and why the book ended in that way.  It worked for the books and for the story within the books.  But this isn’t that story.  Sookie and everything else about Bon Temps is different so please, please give us the fan-ending we’ve wanted since Season 1 Episode 1 before any of us even read the books.

Sookie + Bill = Forever ❤
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What to Watch this Summer, ‘Orange is the New Black’ on Netflix today

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What are you doing?! Stop reading this right now and go watch Orange is the New Black. Live on Netflix as of this morning, it’s finally time to catch up with our favorite felons. Last summer, OITNB came out of nowhere and quickly became the show that everyone was talking about. At the end of season one, we finally saw Piper grow a backbone and takedown Pennsatucky. But wait, there’s a difference between taking someone down and brutally attacking them. How far did Piper go? Did she kill Pennastucky? And what does this mean for her prison sentence? Like I said, what are you doing?! Stop reading this right now and go watch Orange is the New Black so we can find out! Happy watching!

What to Watch this Summer

Friday, June 6

Orange is the New Black Season 2 – Netflix

Wednesday, June 11

Graceland – USA

Sunday, June 22

True Blood – HBO
The Last Ship – TNT (NEW!)

Tuesday, June 24

Tyrant – FX (NEW!)

Sunday, June 29

The Leftovers – HBO (NEW!)

Wednesday, July 9

Extant – CBS (NEW!)
The Bridge – FX

Sunday, July 13

The Strain – FX (NEW!)
Masters of Sex – Showtime

Thursday, July 17

Married – FX (NEW!)


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Top 12 Worst TV Deaths Countdown

If you don’t already know, we here at RPW really enjoy a good countdown.  After discussing an entertaining evening of television on Sunday, and freaking out about the possible untimely and fiery death of Eric Northman during the True Blood finale, the idea for this list hit us.  We are counting down the 12 worst deaths in television history.  By “worst deaths,” we don’t mean the ones that made us sad because we loved the character or the ones that were heartbreaking to watch.  We mean the downright disappointing ones.  The ones that make you question the sanity of the writing team,  the ones that make you say, “Oh my gosh, are they really dead?  Did that seriously just happen?  They can’t be dead?  They deserve a much better death!”  If a major character is going to depart a show, the death should be gut-wrenching, appalling, and downright difficult to watch but it also needs to make sense.  And so our list begins:

12. Charlie Harper, Two and a Half Men

So we all knew the death of Charlie was inevitable after Charlie Sheen’s sudden departure from the show.  But being hit by a subway car?  Really?  Wouldn’t it have made more sense for Charlie to die surrounded by prostitutes?  We guess It was a nod from the creator that Charlie Sheen would never, ever return.

11. Russell Edgington, True Blood

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For being one of True Blood’s biggest and baddest villains, his death was shockingly boring.  He was killed by Eric Northman in the opening scene of Episode 5×12 but his death was ultimately way overshadowed by the death and rebirth of Bilith.  They really should’ve stepped up their game and given Edgington a more fitting True Death.

10. Jimmy Darmody, Boardwalk Empire

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Jimmy Darmody’s death still sparks debates among critics and RPW writers alike, so it wasn’t a complete disappointment.  But there is one thing that everyone can agree on – the ultimate success of this show was hurt by the death of Jimmy.  Michael Pitt was a stellar actor and his Jimmy was beloved by many.  It was too soon for the show to say good bye to the second lead character, and the third season was noticeably weak without him.  It also felt unfair to see Jimmy die at the hands of Nucky, his make-shift father, as Nucky’s other enemies (Eli and Manny, just to name a few) escaped with their lives.  The argument can be made that Nucky finally became a full gangster, but did he really?  Did he murder Jimmy and walk away without guilt?  Did he take out all of his enemies, or just the one that was easiest to target?

9. Matthew Crawley, Downton Abbey

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Many argue that Matthew’s death was unavoidable after Dan Stevens decided not to return to Downton Abbey, but it doesn’t make his death feel any less bogus.  After two seasons of waiting for him and Mary to get together, they finally get their happy ending…only for him to die almost right after.  #Disappointing.

8. Andrea, The Walking Dead

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No one was more pleased to see Andrea die on the season finale of The Wakling Dead than me.  But come on writers, there wasn’t a better way to do it?  In a horrendously stupid scene, where Andrea has to fight for her life against Milton using her (perfectly manicured) toes and a pair of pliers, Andrea finally comes up short and is bitten by a walker.  She then has all the time in the world to sit and bleed out and wait for Rick and Co. to show up and mercy-kill her.  It would have been 1000x better to see Rick & Co. arrive to find zombie-Andrea munching on someone.

7. Bill Henrickson, Big Love

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We have one giant complaint about the way Bill was shot.  After all the enemies he made through the years, it’s the neighbor that offs him?!

6. Robert McCallister, Brothers and Sisters 

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HE HAD JUST SURVIVED CANCER!… only to die in a car crash.  Everything about it felt SO WRONG.

5. John Locke, LOST 

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Our biggest complaint isn’t the fact that John Locke, the biggest believer in the magic of the island and most obvious replacement for Jacob, died before the series finale.  No, we can deal with that.  Our biggest complaint is the way Locke died!   The scene in which Ben pretends to want to help Locke and then suddenly turns on him to kill him was so sudden and so forced that it was almost unbelievable.  And it especially threw off the audience when Locke’s body was suddenly alive and well and perusing the Island.  In a series that posed more questions than it answered, this curveball was unnecessary and hurt the storyline more than it advanced it.

4. George O’Malley, Grey’s Anatomy

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He got hit by a bus and spent majority of the episode as an unrecognizable John Doe surrounded by his best friends as they half-assed operated to save his life.  When they realized that the John Doe was George it was too late and his actual death got wrapped up in Izzie’s almost-death.

Watch the clip below but be warned, you’ll probably feel annoyed just reliving it.

 

3. Lady Sybil, Downton Abbey

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Probably one of the most unexpected characters to be killed off on TV, Lady Sybil was a cast favorite.  Revolting against her families wishes and expectations, Sybil set out to form her own life.  After a difficult childbirth, the audience knew Sybil made it out alive, however toxemia claimed the best of her post-pregnancy, leaving TV viewers reeling the death of a beloved character.  Once word spread of the sudden, unexpected death of Lady Sybil, the ratings of Downton spiked, bringing in many new viewers just in time for them to be let down by the (expected) unexpected death of Matthew Crawley.

Watch the heartbreaking scene unfold below.

 

2. Rita Morgan, Dexter

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We get that the death of Rita was inevitable (she’s married to a seriel killer!).  And the shock factor for this death was definitely there.  No one, Dexter included, thought that Trinity would break his cycle and go after Rita.  All of that aside, I have some major beef with this death.  My biggest complaint is that the audience didn’t see it happen.  Rita was such a big part of the show and it felt unfair that we didn’t get to see her live her final scenes.  I get the shock factor wouldn’t have been there, but couldn’t the writers throw in a flashback somewhere?  Or even a flash of memory from Harrison?  Because we didn’t get to see the interaction between Rita and Trinity, we will never know if Rita died knowing the truth about Dexter.  #ThingsThatKeepMeUpAtNight

Watch the [disturbing] clip of Dexter finding Rita below.

 

1. Ned Stark, Game of Thrones

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Ned Stark’s death could be viewed as the best death ever on TV (I mean, who can argue it’s epicness?) or the worst death.  For our purposes, we think it was the worst.  Why?  Because Ned’s death meant that the Lannisters (AKA the dad guys) won.  Ned’s death was such a shock because it directly defied everything that viewers come to expect from a drama – the hero faces trials and tribulations, the hero suffers, the hero finds a way out, the hero is victorious.  Game of Thrones took the opposite route.  They killed off the main character and protaganist in the first season, throwing everyone for a major loop.  Not only that, but Ned’s death meant Joffrey won and who the hell wants that to happen?

Watch the chilling scene unfold below.


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The Newsroom, The Bridge, and Other Summer Shows We’re Excited to Watch

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The Newsroom, Second Season starts Sunday, July 14th at 10pm on HBO

This weekend I decided to binge watch the first season of The Newsroom with some friends and I think it was the best 10-hours of my life.  The Newsroom, created by the genius Aaron Sorkin, is a political drama that follows news anchor Will McAvoy (Jeff Daniels) and his executive producer MacKenzie “Mac” McHale (Emily Mortimer) on their mission to save the nightly news from ratings-driven stories.  Instead of telling cheap, entertaining, and gossip-driven news they strive to educate viewers on what is really going on in American politics and economics.   Naturally, their corporate owner is not too happy about it, especially when they target the Tea Party and funders of the Atlantis World Media, the station’s parent company.

Sorkin has surrounded Daniels and Mortimer with an outstanding ensemble cast including Jane Fonda, Sam Waterson, Dev Patel, Allison Pill, Olivia Munn, John Gallagher, Jr., Chris Messina, and Thomas Sadoski.  In season two, they’re adding to the cast Marcia Gay Harden, Constance Zimmer, Grace Gummer, Hamish Linklater, and Patton Oswalt (who has repeatedly blasted the show on Twitter, interesting).

The new season kicks off next Sunday, plenty of time to catch up on season one.  To join us in the excitement, watch the season two promo below.

Graceland, Premiered Thursday, June 6th at 10pm on USA

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To read our full review of the pilot, click here.  This show had us hooked during the pilot and it has yet to disappoint.  It follows FBI newbie Mike Warren (Aaron Tveit) after he moves into Graceland, a beach house in Southern California that is the home to various undercover agents from the DEA, FBI, and ICE.  He is there to investigate the stability and trustworthiness of head agent Paul Briggs (Daniel Sunjata).  The show doesn’t require a lot of attention but is a fun summer watch.  There have only been four episodes so far, plenty of time to catch up during a lazy Sunday afternoon.

The Bridge, Premieres Wednesday, July 10th at 10pm on FX

The Bridge is based on the Danish/Swedist TV series of the same name and follows two police detectives – one Mexican (Weeds heartthrob Demián Bichir), and one from the US (Diane Kruger).  The detectives collide when the body of an American judge turns up on the border — a judge known for her anti-immigration views.  It is soon brought to light that a serial killer is working on either side of the border and the detectives must work together to solve the case.  The show title referes to the Bridge of the Americas that serves as a border crossing between El Paso and Juarez, Mexico, the setting of the series.

The White Queen, Premieres Saturday, August 10th at 9pm on Starz

The White Queen is a British import based on Philippa Gregory’s bestselling novel series The Cousins’ War.  The historical drama is set against the backdrop of the War of the Roses and follows the story of the women caught up in the long-standing conflict for the throne of England.  It starts in 1464 and the nation has been at war for nine years over who is the rightful king of England.  It starts the yummy Max Irons, son of Jeremy Irons.  As much as we love The Tudors, Downton Abbey,  and Game of Thrones you know we will be watching.

Orange is the New Black, Begins Streaming on July 11th on Netflix

From the creator of Weeds, Orange is the New Black follows Piper Chapman (Taylor Schilling), a New York woman, who is sent to prison for possessing a suitcase full of drug money on behalf of her ex-girlfriend ten years ago, Alex Vause (Laura Prepon).  Vause is a famous international drug smuggler. Because of her crime Piper is sentenced to serve a fifteen-month prison sentence.  The show follows her prison hardships and personal discovery.

Other oldies but goodies you can’t miss this summer:

True Blood, premiered Sunday, June 16th at 9pm on HBO

Dexter, premiered Sunday, June 30th at 9pm on Showtime

Suits, starts Tuesday, July 16th at 10pm on USA

Breaking Bad, begins its last season on Sunday, August 11th at 9pm on AMC


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Who’s That Kid?! (True Blood Edition)

In Sunday’s episode of True Blood (recapped here), we met a new character –
Nicole Wright, Human & Supe Rights Activist Extraordinaire

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Okay, maybe not Extraordinaire. Anyway, as Nicole was talking to Sam, I wasn’t really listening to her.  I was too busy trying to figure out where I knew her from! Finally, without the help of IMDb, it hit me.

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Trubie Fans, meet Denise Frazer.  That’s right.
Nicole is Denise from
the ’90s class, Full House

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 The same Denise that was BFFs with Michelle Tanner

You may also recognize Jurnee Smollett-Bell from her days spent portraying Jess Merriweather on Friday Night Lights

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There you have it!  Another “Who’s That Kid” mystery solved by RPW.  Be sure to tune in to True Blood this season to find out what happens with Nicole.  New episodes air Sundays at 9pm on HBO.

 

 


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True Blood 6×2 Recap

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True Blood 6×2 entitled “The Sun” starts with audiences seeing Warlow escape the fae prison that he was locked in (we find that out later). Warlow looks terrifyingly disturbing and scarier than any vamp I’ve met on True Blood to date.  Sookie better watch out, because she has no idea what’s coming for her.  Speaking of Warlow…

The episode then picks up right where Episode 1 left off – Jason in a car careening towards the side of the road with “Warlow” having fled the driver’s seat. Except “Warlow” shocks us and saves Jason with a faerie blast. That’s because he’s not Warlow. He’s Jason and Sookie’s f*cking faerie grandfather, Niall Brigand (portrayed by Rutger Hauer). He’s quite knowledged on the Stackhouses’ and knows about Jason’s greatest football moments and juicy porn collection. Niall scolds Jason for the same thing I thought last week – yapping his mouth to a complete stranger.  Thank goodness he’s not Warlow, or else Jason would have just handed him Sookie on a silver platter.

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We next stop by Fangtasia where Tara has a bullet in her and isn’t healing(!).  Don’t fret though, Eric shows up and saves the day by removing the bullet with a glass bottle.  Turns out it’s a silver bullet emitting UV light which prevents vamps from healing – ouch.  Humans have apparently figured out vamps more than they realize.  This frustrates the vamps.  After growing tired of listening to Pam and Nora bicker over their current crisis, Eric demands Nora get back to work investigating the vampire bible and he heads out to handle some unknown business.  Boy, Eric Northman is sexy when he shouts.

The next stop is Bilith’s house.  We find Jess listening to Bill scream about feeling other vamps in pain. He sees vamps being whipped, burned, and one being drug by a vehicle. Suddenly, his body goes limp and Jess is left staring at Bill’s lifeless body. Bill is apparently in “No Place” with Lilith (who finally doesn’t look bloody and nasty).  He was escorted there by the “Lillites(?)” and they vanish into thin air after Lilith dispurses them.  Lilith tells Bill he’s there because certain events have been set in motion, and that he has a job to do.  Finally, we’re learning what Bill is, sort of!

Cut to Arlene waking up Sleeping Beauty aka Sookie who overslept her shift at Merlotte’s after the eventful evening with Bilith (remember, we’re only at the morning after last season’s crazy finale). I’m not going to lie, I sort of enjoyed seeing someone yell at Sookie for being irresponsible. But, I wish the folks at Merlotte’s could have a more serious role in this show.  It’s currently feeling like their scenes are detached from the bigger picture.  Hopefully, they find a way to pull it all together.  I’m over this Patrick/Ifrit story line like yesterday. Give me something more juicy with Arlene and Terry.

Sookie decides to walk to work and as she walks, she notices someone writhing in pain and bloody on the ground.  Normal.  She stops, against her better judgement, and quickly realizes the stranger on the ground is a fellow fae.  She learns through her special powers that he was injured by a vamp and the two of them conduct a mini-brain wave convo. (love when they do that).  She brings FaeStranger into her house (Has she learned NOTHING?!) and treats his injuries.  The two hare some cute banter before FaeStranger passes out, convincing me that we just met Sookie’s latest love interest.  I just hope that he doesn’t turn out to be an evil faerie infiltrating the Stackhouse clan on someone elses orders, or something like that.  Things haven’t quite been what they seem this season, and I hope this doesn’t turn out too ugly.

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We head back to Merlotte’s and catch up with Arlene waiting on a group of out-of-towners.  Did anyone else think it was weird that she opened the conversation with asking them where they’re from?  Just how friendly are waitresses in Bon Temp?  The girl at this table (recognize her?!) is looking for Sam Merlotte.  This girl, who we learn is Nicole Wright, wants Sam to help support shifters and other supes as they “come out of the coffin.”  She argues that the government won’t stop at exterminating the vamps, and that the supes are in danger unless they join together and fight for their rights.  She is the daughter of freedom riders; her grandparents initiated the civil rights movement and she is an advocate for weres, vampires, and all other supernaturals.  Unfortunately, Sam has no interest at all in supporting this movement and dismisses Nicole as quickly as he met her.

Back in “No Place,” Lilith tells Bill that a tyrant is rising, and it is the beginning of the end.  Bill has to complete her work.  Bill asks if he’s a god.  Lilith tells him no, that he isn’t nor is she.  She said Bill may be worshipped as a god, but there is only one God, but she again tells him that he will know what he must do.  Stupid Jess disrupts this moment by ordering Bill a Human Edible (yuck).  Jess brings her to Bill, but he’s still unconscious.  The girl tries to leave the room after staring creepily at frozen Bill, and suddenly Bill mentally warps her back in front of him and proceeds to suck all of her blood straight from her mouth until she falls over, dead. All while unconscious. WTF?! Still Bill, my ass.

Speaking of stupid women, Sookie is now watching FaeStranger sleep and she discovers that two faeries can play magic lights when they touch.  Cute.  FaeStranger wakes up and Sookie talks about her desires to give up her light and become a normal person.  She finally asks him his name as he’s leaving.  FaeStranger is named Ben.  They exchange pleasantries and then Sookie decides to point him in the direction of the faerie safe haven in the field.  She walks him with him as she continues her trek to Merlotte’s.  As they walk, they can’t help but hear each others’ thoughts.  Imagine how awkward that first date would be.

Since we mentioned the field last scene, it made sense to cue the Faerie Field.  Andy is running around with his 4 rapidly aging little girls, and it is hilarious.  He’s desperate for Morella to appear and help him with his band of fae children, but she is a no-show.  This is what you get when you let the little man swim with no cap, Andy!  My only complaint with this scene is it feels completely detached from the rest of the episode.  Again, writers, we need to tie this stuff together!

Finally, we see Grandaddy Niall and Jason arrive at Sookie’s house and inspect the bathroom where Warlow tried to break through.  Apparently, there is a portal from another realm hidden in the upstairs bathroom.  This is the entrance into Warlow’s prison.  Niall goes in to see if Warlow has broken out and discovers he did.  How many of you jumped and hoped Jason didn’t disappear when he tried to follow Niall?!  Thankfully, he didn’t and Jason just falls to the ground, but we know now that this is foreshadowing.  Over spaghetti, Niall tells the Stackhouse siblings about their history.  Niall is one of the original fae and he is the king of the remaining royal fae clan.  “That makes you a faerie princess, and that makes me a faerie prince,” quips Jason.  But that’s not the case.  Niall tells Jason that the gene skipped him and he is actually not a fae.  Niall continues and explains that Warlow has been after Niall’s family for centuries.  He slaughtered Niall’s village and killed his parents.  Therefore, Niall has been out for revenge ever since.  Warlow showed himself to Niall’s son, John Stackhouse, when he had John sign over the first female-born fae (aka Sookie).  Warlow showed himself again to the Stackhouse clan on the night when Sookie’s parents died.  That means Warlow killed all of their parents, giving Jason, Sookie, and Niall all big reasons to want to see him die.

Niall then tells them that killing Warlow will be no easy task.  Warlow has already been to the house, and will be back again very soon so they must learn how to defend themselves quickly.  Niall teaches Sookie about their special fae power – the supernova sun.  Niall and Sookie can focus their light into a single ball of energy.  They can pour all of their emotions, dreams, and pain into it and when they release it, the supernova will kill any vampire it touches.  But Sookie has to be careful.  She can only use this once and if she does, she will lose her light forever.  I wonder if she’s going to have to use this to kill Warlow or Bilith.  I know a major character is going to die this season.  How fitting would it be to see Sookie kill Bill and become human, all at once?

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We check back in with the rest of the vamps.  Nora is tediously pouring over the vampire bible and makes some sort of discovery – a mistranslation about people leading Lilith to the sun.  Who knows what that means.  Before she leaves, we have a little bit of a Pam/Nora break-through.  Nora tells Pam that Eric only kept secrets from Pam to protect her.  Truthfully, Pam is Eric’s greatest accomplishment and he loves her very much.  He just doesn’t know how to show it.  How cute!

Speaking of Mr. Northman, it turns out he was on a mission to disrupt the plans of Governor Burrell.  Eric infiltrates the mansion by posing as a geek.  Let me just tell you, it was uh-maze-ing.  Eric tries to warn Burrell about the dangerous “whooping crane” until he finally reveals the real reason for his visit – he attempts to glamour the governor.  It seems like such a clever move, until suddenly the governor starts to laugh.  The humans have figured this out too, and have developed anti-glamour contacts.  Such a shocking moment!  Burrell has guards come to escort Eric to “camp.”  We aren’t sure what this means, but something tells me Eric would not have enjoyed himself there.  The guards bring Eric outside and he’s able to escape by flying away, must to their dismay.  Interesting.  They haven’t figured everything about vampires out just yet.

Eric learned that the governor has a weak spot – his daughter.  So Eric heads to her house and cleverly waits outside until she takes out her contacts.  Then, in what felt like vintage True Blood, he hovered outside of her window looking dangerously handsome and was able to glamour himself into her room.  Those whooping cranes sure are shifty!

We finally get a little were-action when Alcide and Co. show up at Sam’s apartment where Uncle Lala was babysitting Emma. The pack shows up and demand that Sam and Lafayette let Emma go home with them, since she’s a werewolf and Martha’s granddaughter.  Despite Sam’s claims that Luna and Emma both want Emma to stay with Sam, the pack jumps Sam and Lafayette and kidnap Emma.  This is utterly ridiclous.  Who is this person and what have they done with Alcide?  Side note – while this is happening, Nicole and her friends catch the whole thing on camera. Thank gosh no one shifted!

The episode concludes with an amazing monologue by Jess as she says a prayer to Bill/God, still under the impression that Bill is god.  I have to give it up for Deborah Ann Woll this season.  She has produced some of the best Jessica scenes to date.  I used to think her character was sort of pointless, but I’m really liking her this season. Keep it up, Jess!

Jess’s prayer to God is beautiful.  She confesses all of her sins, including wrath and lust and murder, and then she asks God to bless everyone in Bon Temp.  As she goes over each individual person (including Hoyt!), we get a glimpse of what they are each up to.  The scene was a really nice way to calm the episode down before amping it up for a shocking ending.

Bill finally returns from his conversation with Lilith, after she tells him that he will know what he must do and that he should trust what he sees.  As Bill wakes up and rejoins Jessica, the news cuts on and the two of them see breaking news – a vampire has been chained to a vehicle and is currently being drug through the streets.  This is the same vamp that Bill saw in the start of the episode.  Jessica quickly realizes that Bill can see the future.  As Bill comes to the realization himself, he is hit with a vision.  We see all the vamps we’ve come to know and love – Jessica, Tara, Pam, Eric – all together in one room, burning.  The episode ends as Bill reveals “they’re all gonna burn!”

As a huge fan of both the show and the novels, I was growing more and more tired of the complete stray of the storyline from the books.  I understand things need to change, and some things worked better to adapt to TV than others, but I have to give it to the writers for this episode.  They’ve managed to change the story and remain true to the books (at least a little bit!) all at the same time.  I really appreciate the many subtle nod to the books – Eric’s smooth and conniving strength, Sookie’s endless time spent cooking for Jason and whoever visited her house, Niall as the faerie grandfather, Pam’s endless devotion to Eric  – it was all very fitting and appreciciated.

Favorite Line –  “Down here organic means you play the fancy piano at church.” ~ Arlene in response to the out-of-towners who asked for organic food.